Poor Clarice… Stewart’s not exactly being sensitive. “I’ve never regretted making my family my top priority” to a woman who’s going through a difficult divorce. Isn’t he usually a little nicer?
Poor Clarice! I think Clarice should get back together with Mo (though I’d like Mo to get back together with Harriet even more–what’s the matter with me?). Then again, if Clarice can’t take Stuart’s preaching, she couldn’t handle Mo full-time.
Now, other than the obvious glitch, Mo and Stuart …
Y’know, In my thirst for entertainment, I was so looking forward to Clarice moving in with Stuart, Sparrow, et al., that it didn’t occur to me just how miserable it might be for her. Now I feel bad, embarrassed by my selfishness. As she’s a fictional character, this is probably not a healthy reaction
Since this thread is just getting started, this seems as good a place as any to mention that I just recently purchased and read the entire DTWOF bibliography in chronological order over approximately a two-month span and a) Wow. Just, wow… b) aren’t we about due for another book? and c) since I can’t really justify buying all of the books again just for the thrill (much as I want to support AB and all), anyone got any recommendations?
I like the parallel universes - both Toni and Clarice are having dinner with another adult and kid, but they are worlds apart. While Toni is playing fun spoon-on-the-nose games, Clarice is literally shivering in her new, sad little room. A tear jerker!
What are kasha varnishkes, anyway? Stuart–even though he’s sensitive, he’s also kind of a zealot.
Clarice could get a space heater. Hopefully she will start to feel like she’s in control of her own life and can make decisions about what she wants out of it.
I think Toni is too happy having Gloria and Stella over for dinner (…the BRADY bunch…) to get back with Clarice.
Maybe in a couple of years Clarice will find a new love and will take what she’s learned the hard way to make it work?
I remember, not all that long ago, being that person huddled on the side of her bed, doubting her decisions and living with the consequences. Hang in there, Clarice…it does get better.
Oh, Clarice. It says so much that my heart is going out to her; when she’s reaching out for a lifeline with her phone call to Toni (her hand grasping the wall for both physical and emotional support), there’s that look of loneliness and isolation and sadness just all over her face.
Hopefully things will start to get easier rather than more difficult. And hopefully I will remember before too long that she is, after all, a fictional character.
Had to laugh about the 64 degrees though. I live in MA, its cold here, and I always know exactly whose house I must bring a hat to. (To whose house I must bring a hat?) I will never be a REAL New Englander, because I like to keep the heat at (get ready to be shocked) seventy!
64? That’s balmy! We keep it at 60. I’m from California but live in Iowa now–and I don’t understand why people in cold climates keep their heat up so dang high.
It’s going to be cool to see Jiao R.?. now that she’s becoming person. She and Stuart could have an interesting dynamic. It’s interesting to see Clarice feeling nostalgic for her family after all the years of feeling impeded by it. I like this new setup; it gives the characters fresh situations and lets us see them from new angles.
Stuart has been incredibly self-righteous and insensitive, mostly at Sparrow lately, but also at Janis. I don’t know why it seems different here except people are more sensitive to someone going through a break up.
I feel sorry for Toni though too! She’s trying to put her life back together and here she is having a wonderful time and she gets brought down by Clarice again. I’d feel more sorry if she hadn’t kept the house, but then she was the one who wanted it. I hope she isn’t taking Clarice to the cleaners financially. Houses are by their nature unfair — harder to deal with than marriages or kids, because there’s only one and you can’t get the value back out of it to split.
If I were Clarice I’d start working late and texting with Sparrow and/or Lois to figure out when it’s safe to go home.
May as well make more money while you are miserable so you can spend it on someone when you find them.
For Kasha Varnishkes, see “Feed Me Bubbe Episode #15″ (google it yourself, I’m not going to put a link that messes up the beautiful formatting of this page). Although Bubbe does add salt…
Ouch…though I realize Clarice wasn’t exactly a bystander in her divorce, it still hurts to see her like this…and for Toni to have seemingly moved on so easily…
I’ve always wondered what Sparrow saw in Stuart. He’s really quite rude - wouldn’t they have explained the house “rules” to Clarice before she moved in? (Did Lois agree to all this, or is she at Jasmine’s all the time so she can get some salt into her system?)
Jaibe, I bet Lois is still drinking coffee with her doughnuts.
Re: wine, there are local vineyards all over - but God, eating local in winter sucks! At least in summer there’s fruit and greens ripening, not just root vegetables!
Dang. I *like* Stuart, and even *I* want to smack him upside the head this time around. And just to give you a basis for comparison, I’ve never felt that way about Sydney.
Say…is this the first actual dialogue JR has had? It’s the first I remember.
This is just one of the many reasons I don’t ever, EVER want to have kids: the fear that their first words will be, “I want Frosted Fruit Bats.”
Jaibe: I get the feeling that “We” means Stuart. And because everyone else in the house is too busy trying to get by in 21st-Century America to arrange their own meal plan, it also means everyone else in the house by default. Stuart, being Stuart, mistakes this exhausted resignation for consensus.
Ksbel: Stuart would never ADMIT that he doesn’t like a member of the happy little family depicted in this strip, that’s for sure. But why wouldn’t he like Clarice. Hmmmm…Gloria was persona non grata among some of the characters for a while because Clarice’s affair with her nearly broke up her and Toni years and years ago. Having lived with Ginger for so long, could it be that he somehow feels a similar hostility towards Clarice as the villain in that scenario? And really, who knows what Ginger has said about Clarice in the intervening years?
DISCLAIMER: I like Ginger (I like EVERONE, don’t I!), but…it always seemed strange to me that she didn’t experience more lasting consequences to her actions; there were certainly lasting consequences for Toni & Clarice…in fact, I think they might not be where they are today if Clarice had never consented to making a two-backed beast with Ginger. Really, it hadn’t even occurred to me until Ksbel suggested it that there might be a fellow cast member Stuart passive-aggressively didn’t like, or that it might be Clarice, and if so, that there had to be a reason why. So don’t blame me. :->
Oh, and Pearlie, I’ve been rooting for Clarice and Toni since their troubles began. You’re not alone…
Still pulling for more face time for old, even forgotten characters…
Ray
P.S. It’s a pity Clarice and the rest of our endearing Sapphic Justice League don’t live in Seattle. For us Seattleites, “eating local” means you can have just about anything you want. Extremely varied terroir and growing/climatic/agricultural/wildlife conditions within a relatively small radius. We’re lucky that way. :->
Is it just me, or does life not seem to be going so swimmingly for Toni, either? I mean, there’s the charming scene, but she is looking awfully worn.
I recently moved from Seattle to Cleveland… and this will be my first winter of learning what eating locally here really means. (I’m not hard core. Every January I lose it and buy Mexican red peppers and zucchini. But while I adore our farmer’s market, I’m already in WA veggie withdrawal. Wah…)
Stuart is a self centered git. “I’m sorry you broke up with Toni. Go invite Toni over for a celebration.” He’s been pretty oblivious to other people for a while now.
Clarice needs a companion to keep her warm and cozy this winter. I think she should meet up with a sex positive, fun loving, vivacious, creative woman who salts her kasha and is openly and pathologically optimistic… a nice counterpoint to the doom and gloom that Mo espouses.
I do 60 degrees by night and 65 or 66 by day…but then again, I’m perimenopausal so the internal furnace is always burning.
After years of practice I’ve learned I can tolerate 66 but 65 makes me miserable. So you can guess where my heat setting is. The upstairs is always a degree or two cooler.
I don’t wear gats indoors ut frewuently wear hoodie sweatshirts.
Hmm, that looks like leafy greens and cherry tomatoes, though, so either there’s a late crop in their undisclosed location, or perhaps a bit of greenhouse action going on.
Yup, Stuart is acting a tad like the insensitive zealot… and Clarice appears to be on the woe is me dramamongering tip, mining for misery! A tip: Rolling down your sleeves is a handy first step to warmth…
Have any of you read Barbara Kingsolver’s latest book Animal,Mineral,Vegetable? It’s about the decision of her and her family,who live on a farm, to eat local for a year. They’re in SW Virginia,which makes it much easier. And I don’t think they’re self-righteous about it.
Barbara’s husband Stephen was featured recently talking to David Broncaccio on PBS about the cooperative farming group he’s helped start. Economic necessity has made some neighboring tobacco farmers switch from growing tobacco to raising organic veggies. So it isn’t just “self-rigteous” progressives who’re doing things differently.
But I can see how trying to buy locally in a Midwest winter would be very difficult. Perhaps Clarice can utilize her well-honed persuasive skills to instigate a compromise.
Hi tylik, yeah, it’s me. One question is, how do you define “local”?
Deena, I thought Alison said it had a twin cities feel but she tries to keep it relatively regionless (although the annual snowfall does eliminate some regions - like western WA). Re: wine, I started to list WA, OR, CA, MI, NC, NM, NY …. and gave up and said “all over”
Re: the ritual, it *could* be a helping-to-move-on thing to include Toni in the ritual. If, you know, Clarice also wanted to do the ritual. Which we don’t know.
Gah. I don’t remember Stuart as being quite so insensitive. I keep wondering what Lois would interject to his babbling if she where there - thoughts?
(Oh, and I’m not saying that Alison SHOULD have had Lois there. As the point is to show Clarice in a state of culture shock / OMGWTF-have-I-done?, Lois’ leavening would not be useful to the strip
That was always my dad’s response when I complained about our house being kept cold in the Michigan winter: “Go put on a sweater.” I would then point out to him that I was already wearing a sweater, and occasionally two.
FWIW, sleeping bag manufacturers say that, on average, women “sleep colder” than men and thus require more insulation to maintain the same degree of comfort. Based on my personal experience with thermostat battles, this seems right to me.
how come that Lois and Sparrow agreed with this “keep it local” - no coffee etc., thing? hardly can believe it. also, why is Stewart getting so much space? is all well in Sparrow’ and Stewart’s relationship? sex-wise? or why is he becoming this “überhousewife” ? just some thoughts..
yes, eating local in the winter seems like a ridiculous (and expensive) challenge int his modern era.
I really empathize with Clarice in this strip. Since this past summer I have had multiple instances of forgetting and calling my ex to tell a story or get support and received the cold shoulder and the reminder that I am no longer a part of their life and they are happier that way. It hurts like a knife. Actually, it hurts a lot worse than that. It hurts like loads of stones pressing down on your chest for day, slowly breaking your ribs.
I suspect that Clarice will “get used to it” by spending as much time as possible away from home. that seems to be Lois’s tactic.
wonder whose home is the warmest and has the best food? Clarice may want to hang out with Sydney — or Ginger?
YouveGotRedOnYou, I suspect that Ginger didn’t have more lasting consequences for her fling with Clarice simply because she’s single. Ginger’s friends don’t seem to credit her for Toni and Clarice’s marital problems, and I can imagine their not wanting to shun one of their own.
interesting to consider how Toni’s doing just now; we don’t have much to go on. maybe that’ll be revealed in another strip?
I don’t have a thermostat, I use the cat. The tighter they curl, the colder it is. Paws over the nose means I put the heating on - one room at a time. But then I do have my own inbuilt insulation layer.
Oil has gone over that $100 barrel. Get used to cooler rooms, people, and leave some oil for our grandchildren.
Oh wow. I’ve been Clarice fairly recently, only I didn’t call my ex, I just flew through the Netflix pretty fast. (and I didn’t cheat on anybody)
Somebody from California wondered why northerners keep their thermostats up so high. Two thoughts:
1) used to be wood heating or radiators, so there was a heat source and therefore more of an ability to self regulate by sitting nearer or further from the hot spot (and wood stoves had to be hot to keep the chimney cleaner), so people are looking for the same general experience but with a heat pump furnace thing. (cultural habits not individual habits)
2) I once heard that people don’t get cold in Alaska. Either they’re war, or they’re dead. I’m guessing that the consequences for getting a little chilly in CA are that you get a little chilly. In NY, unless you do something specific to turn it around, you’ll only get chillier and then you’ll get sick. That induces a little cultural paranoia. The death rates from flu and pneumonia are lower than 100 years ago, but not as low as we’d like to think
Stuart has been getting on my last nerve since he quit his job to become a stay at home dad. He has become a one-man, closed rhetorical circuit. No one is there to tell him he’s over the top so he takes the silence for agreement.
The path of least resistence for Clarice would be to spend evenings with Sydney, watching HDTV and drinking single malt. What she really should do is is march over to the thermostat, crank it up, and tell Stuart,”you’ll get used to it.”
Now the mystery of where Jasmine and Janis are living is solved: they have their own place. I know,Lois could move in there and Moe could move into her room. Then she and Stuart could be self-righteous together.
Some of us get more miserable than others in cold rooms. And the smugness of people who can handle low temperatures is tiresome. For me it’s 74. No lower than that.
Shado, the rumor indeed is strong that Trent Lott is a “Wide Stance Republican”, which is preferable to calling him gay, even of the closeted variety. At this point, any conservative who makes a noise condemning queers seems likely to be doing kink behind closed doors. Even with the greed motive (for Lott) tossed in, it seems likely.
And Hastert has resigned as well. His willingness to cover up for Foley no doubt arises from more than partisan motives.
The thing is, I don’t think they really are gay. Not as I would define the term. Yeah, they’ll pay for or troll for sex with men, but they also are pedophiles/pederasts, rubber suit wearers, diaper wearers, goat blowers — they’re not just reacting against compulsory heterosexuality, they have no sexual boundaries at all. Except the confusion of sex with power, that’s a constant.
On another note: Stuart was once a refugee taken into that household under sufferance of others. I’ve never seen him as having strong self-esteem, and this current behavior just reinforces it: Clarice is now the “outsider” seeking succour, and he doesn’t quite know how to extend that when it’s not in his direct self-interest to do so. I think in that regard he’s much more like Sydney than Mo. Mo’s heart actually does bleed.
Clarice is beginning the journey of finding out how to create her own happiness, not lashed to the life-goals of another. Either she’ll find the thrill at its root or she’ll go for quicker comfort.
I adore kasha varnishkes, but to eat it without seasoning and yummy add-ons is, well, depressingly gentile.
Have you ever lived somewhere where it gets cold enough to be cold indoors, markmaker? Most of us turn the heat up because it’s really uncomfortable to be cold, not because of any cultural heritage.
I draw the line at two sweaters (or one sweater plus one hoody), which indoors means around 62. Adding another layer makes it hard to bend my arms.
I used to love Stuart, until his insensitivity to Sparrow’s pregnancy concerns went over the top. I used to think he was a good match for Sparrow, who could sometimes be pretty preachy and self-righteous herself. But then he completely ignored her need for individualism and identity during the pregnancy. I got this creepy feeling that she was nothing but a baby making machine during that time. It made me hate him, and that made me totally sad.
Since then I’ve also been annoyed at his close-mindedness with Janice, and now his flat-out mean-ness to Clarise.
And yeah, I have to say, I don’t know who is a little vague on the locavore concept, Stuart as a character or AB as the writer. But I wonder where they live that is actually producing Kasha locally? Or Bowtie Pasta? Or that nice salad in Winter? Actually out of all the things that COULD be produced locally, salt is likely to be one of them. Since many areas have local salt flats, or can make salt from other sources if they really want to. And tons and tons of places across the country now have soybean farms since soybeans are easy to grow and often government subsidised. So getting tamari made locally is also not too difficult in soybean producing regions (including much of the midwest). Although if you are both local and organic it does narrow things a lot as well. Maybe it’s just my ignorance of east coast crops, but Stuart’s explanation of “local” seems wierd to me.
As for Clarice and Toni, it seems sad but inevitable. As a workaholic (my definition for Clarice, YMMV), of course she hasn’t really built any support structures for herself, she’s been too busy with work. So when she needs help, she has no one but Toni to turn to. And Toni, as the other side of that, is just kind of tired of carrying the emotional burden for Clarice and doesn’t have any more to give. But what does mystify me is that I have a vague memory of some strips in the last year or so where Toni and Gloria tried to have some kind of relationship together and failed miserably. So why are they pictured in domestic bliss in the last two strips? Was the relationship failure simply due to their guilt over cheating on their partners, or was it some sort of fundamental incompatibility. I can’t remember and might be way off base. Can anyone correct me and help me figure it out?
Some of us get more miserable than others in cold rooms. And the smugness of people who can handle low temperatures is tiresome.
Patience, your time is coming. I’m fine with 65 in the winter. It’s the no A/C in the summer that makes me want to die or get an MBA and hang out in over-air conditioned office buildings. At which point the smugness gradient reverses.
Hmm, Stewart’s implied criticism of Clarice’s not putting family first - and the placing of that suggests maybe even a veiled accusation that this caused the breakup - is a tad ironical considering Sparrow’s working late… again.
Stuart’s chosen family first… it seems like the family in question has different ideas, however!
Um… I don’t think anyone else here has said this yet. But here’s what I see down the pike. You have Clarice, a divorcee who’s driven by culture and professional aspirations, living in the house with ‘put my family first (and make all their decisions for them)’ Stuart, who is married-with-child to Sparrow, who’s driven by society and global aspirations and ever more distant from the ‘family’ Stuart put ‘first.’
My only question is whether Stuart will somehow keep the house (where would he get the money?) or if Sparrow and Clarice will.
I read once (*once*, and never saw it anywhere else, tho lo these long years I have looked) that women have tighter control over their core body temp than men. If a man’s core body temp goes down by half a degree, well, it goes down by half a degree. But if a woman’s core temp drops by half a degree, the body pulls blood from the extremities to the core to keep the temp stable… because there might be a fetus in there. (You’d think the circuitry to actually *check* would be cheap and easy to install, but apparently not…) This makes hands and feet cold and overall generally miserable.
What I take from this:
1) Men are in fact reptiles.
2) When I’m freezing and the men are walking around like it’s no problem, I can think to myself that women’s superiour core body temp just might explain why women live longer than me. This lets me say to myself, “I might be miserable, but you’re going to die eight years earlier!”
In partial defense of Stuart, I have to wonder who exactly he was talking about with that “put my family first” line. Was he actually claiming that this was Clarice’s fault, or was he trying to sympathize with her by suggesting that it was Toni’s fault for having the affair rather than putting her family first and abstaining? In the best of times I wouldn’t care if Stuart fell down a manhole, but even for someone so socially oblivious I have to wonder if that barb was directed towards someone who could easily fork him to death while he slept.
As to the look on Toni’s face, well — she’s the single mother of a teen who deliberately attempted to destroy her life and who has been venturing into drug culture. Having her look a bit tired and fed up shouldn’t be surprising. Add on to that having her ex-spouse unexpectedly call to whine at her during the dinner hour, and I can understand her attitude. Clarice was the one who was saying that she couldn’t live with Toni if Toni insisted on making dates with Gloria, and then promptly moved out — why should Clarice’s adjustment period have to disturb her creating a new life on her own? Shouldn’t that call have gone to a third party, or involved voicemail to their therapist?
I notice that this is the happiest that I’ve seen either Raffi or Stella in a very, very long time. Frankly, I think that Clarice might be incapable of making her own family happy, and thus her moving out was the best thing for them. I wonder if Raffi’s acting out will continue if Toni and Gloria become a serious item, or if instead having Stella as a step-sister will be the balancing influence he needs?
And to Anonymous, who mentioned “Stuart, who is married-with-child” - wait, did I miss something? Did Stuart and Sparrow actually marry after her mother let fly about the inheritance?
I think Stuart is the stereotypical married man. (Yes, I know they’re not technically married.) During the courtship he was all sweetness and diffidence. Now that he thinks he’s established, he has become totally self-centered. It’s not any worse than the more typical flowers and chocolates before, beer and football after type guy, but it’s more disappointing. You’d hope Stuart’s principles would extend to some awareness of his own treatment of women. Unfortunately a lot of feminist men seem to have trouble with that.
Stuart really ought to stop and think about how vulnerable he would be if Sparrow dumped him. He could start with feminist analysis of the dangers of financial dependence.
Sir Real, completely agree about the sleeves. It is so sadly typical of Clarice to whine about the cold but not put on a sweater. It could be good for her that nobody’s taking care of her. Could make her pull herself together.
When is JR going to get fed up with that ridiculous hair style, and those silly elastics with the marbles? It’s sort of like the hippy version of a father who makes you wear a barrette all the time…
Wow…no one mentioned that Stuart is cooking dinner and inquiring if Clarice is okay with her room and if she got connected to the lifeblood (wifi). Doesn’t this count as nurturing behavior at all?
Wow tylik, west to east, the opposite of me. I went from Cleveland to California. One thing I noticed is that homes in warmer climates are just so poorly insulated, if you heated them the way Clevelanders do in the winter you would go broke.
Echoing what someone else said, somehow if it is colder outside, say 25, 65 feels colder inside, than if it is 60 outside. Don’t know why.
Thanks for raising those very good points. I think Stuart, in his mind, was trying to be the hearty hail-friend-well-met-you’ll-be-comfy-in-no-time - but the strip turns on Clarice putting the worst possible spin on everything.
OTOH I recently reprogrammed our thermostat to go up to 68 (horrors) at 6:30 every morning and again when we get home from work. And something tells me local sources of salt and soy sauce could be ferreted out … but will Clarice want to take the time?
no salt for the sake of eating only local? that is quite extreme (or am i just the ignorant european?).
i also wondered how lois deals with all the restrictions stuart has introduced; i do remember that she seemed less than happy about how things went in the little commune when she told clarice that they had a room for her.
love it how this episode centers on folks who have been on the margins of storytelling - must be due to the return to a two week-rhythm. thank you so much! (and poor clarice …)
JenK–Thanks for coming to Stu’s defense. I find him a sympathetic character,and didn’t see his remarks to Clarice as being insensitive.
Re: temperatures,many officemates and household members argue about wear the thermostat should be. I think compromise is in order,and it’s high time for a collective household meeting to iron our these probs. It helps that they have long-standing friendships.
I could tell some horror stories worse than this from my days of collective living in the 70s,but I’ll restrain myself.
Clarice, you can stay with me. You’ll be much happier, and warmer, and there’s coffee and salt and WiFi, and local Chinese and pizza delivery. Real pizza, from a pizza joint run by Greeks.
None of that Domino’s stuff.
Yes, I’m a straight white male. No, I’m not at ALL like Stuart.
Having loved the name Jiao Raizel since first reading it, allow me to help. Jiao officially has a “tone”, but since that’s impossible to communicate, we’ll go just for pronunciation: j?-’au(with a dot over the u I can’t find the symbol for in html) For a link to the auditory pronunciation, try . (The recording is a slow version, when sped up, the sounds run together beautifully.) As for Raizel, start saying raisin, but when you hit the hard “s” sound, finish the word with an unvoiced “l” in the back of your throat. I hope that helps
And Kaitlin Duck Sherwood,
Men ARE reptiles and the world is cold for those of us with natural inclinations towards the tropics! (I just came back from South East Asia where I was blissfull, much to the confusion of my hosts who expected “the silly ang moh (white person)” to melt.) I’ve taken to making business suits out of fleece for myself and my female friends. Pics available upon request - suits available if you’re extremely nice to me.
Of course the point of eating local is that so much energy gets wasted in moving things, which is certainly no reason to skip salt, as the amount you eat is so negligible. Coffee is harder. I buy “local” coffee, but it only means locally roasted.
I actually don’t feel that Stuart behaves like a standard married man. He behaves, unfortunately, like too many stay-at-home moms, just as Clarice behaves as too many workaholic fathers (and me). I can assure you that the facial expression and the “I’ve never regretted making my family my top priority” totally remind me of one of my daughter’s friend’s SAH-mother.
I wonder if Clarice is enough up on history to tell Stuart that denying people salt is what the British did in India, and was the center of some of Mohandas Gandhi’s organizing. Or what he’d say, if accused of being the oppressor to her Mahatma.
We are keeping our heat between 60 and 65 this winter, not because we like it that cold, but because we can’t afford to keep it any higher. Yay, the economy.
On Stuart - I”ve had people say really insensitive things about all manner of stuff, the one that irritates me most is when they start bragging about how their good health habits will keep them from ever developing the malady you’ve just told them you have. I don’t think it is meant to be insensitive - I think it is more that they fear the same fate befalling them and the first urge is to start explaining how one is immune. Stuart may be reassuring himself more of the stability of his own marriage, and seems oblivious to the effect his own words have on Clarice.
It’s a battered women’s shelter on the Standing Rock Reservation in South Dakota. Recently, their shelter was burned to the ground by men who broke in to steal computers and televisions.
Now they’re trying to buy an available house situated across the street from a police station (which is about as safe as you can get). And they need money to do it.
If you can’t give money, many credit cards allow you to donate points to a charity.
I usually never ask people to give to a charity, but this is just heartbreaking. So I hope a few of you will pass this along to other interested parties.
I once wintered in western Massachusetts in an unheated attic after my arranged housing fell through at the last minute. Ambient temperature about 55 degrees.
I can’t imagine 64 is any better.
Is it possible Stewart has had a stroke from all the spinning and is now insane? And no coffee? Has he issued an edict on tampons and maxipads yet?
“I’m sorry you broke up with your lover of over twenty years and left the kid you’ve helped raise when you moved out of the house you’ve lived in for ten years. Y’know, I’ve never regretted making family my top priority.” How can that NOT count as insensitive? Of course Stuart isn’t trying to be cruel. He’s just completely self-absorbed.
In the context of this strip, “come [straight] out” is a cleverly twisted phrase. (Clever of Alison, not Stuart.) If Stuart is going to suspend the house constitution, he needs to come straight out and say so. As it is, his constituents seem to be voting with their feet.
Stuart exemplifies the trend on both (all?) sides of the contemporary American political spectrum of conflating displays of personal virtue with meaningful political action. Refusing to eat soy sauce does not support local agriculture. If he’s in the midwest, among soybean farmers, it could possibly have the opposite effect (infinitesimal, of course).
Something tells me that Sparrow makes a stop by Starbucks for a large somethingorother on her way to work.
And I have to chuckle at the heat conversation. We just had central heat/air put into our old house (to replace electric baseboards - gah!) and our wonderful contractor (who is a perfectionist who keeps fine tuning a system that I think is fine) keeps getting genuinely puzzled to come over and find me waiting for him in a house that’s 64, and with thermostats programmed only to 66 at their highest (60 and night ane while we’re at work, though we do turn it up from there if we’re too cold). You can tell that he honestly can’t conceptualize anyone wanting to have the temp at anything less than 72.
I want to send Clarice a care package of her own coffeemaker, some fair-trade coffee, a big thing of sea-salt, a thick down comforter, and some shearling slippers.
Hey, I didn’t have time to read everybody so I hope I’m not just repeating what everyone’s been saying.
Poor Clarice. Of course I have unstoppable radiators that keep my house way too hot all winter long. But if I even go to someone house where it’s 70 or less, I feel so miserable.
Two: I think JR should be at that stage where she says Fwosted Fwoot Bats. I heard it that way in my head.
Thanks for another great episode, Allison. Don’t forget Angus and the bloaters!
I kind of what Sparrow to barf in Stewart’s lap. (It seems like Sparrow hasn’t been central to any storylines since she gave birth. Party foul.)
“The path of least resistance for Clarice would be to spend evenings with Sydney, watching HDTV and drinking single malt.” –hilarious–
Tales of cold rooms in winter remind me of a couple years ago when we moved into our first house, broke, and we didn’t turn the heat on hardly ever (in Seattle though, not New England). It’s hard!! Warm showers and baking sure felt good.
I grew up in and live in Canada and despite frigid temps outside the coldest winters aren’t usually too bad given the efficient (but could be better) housing. In fact, the coldest winter I ever spent was in Ireland where the day time highs were usually around 5 deg C (42F) and the inside temps not much better: 10C (52F) and DAMP that seeps in everywhere. Come in to the house cold and wet and never expect to dry off & warm up even with a fire. Single-glazed windows with no/poor seals, no central heat (crummy radiators) & no insulation; we could’ve had a corner on the peat market and fire blazing all day and never be warm. Of course, posher houses weren’t too bad. I usually slept in long underwear, wool sweater, sleeping bag, quilt, toque, mitts and socks & with a hot water bottle. I’ll never complain about N.American cold again (yes, my fingers are crossed…).
JR’s hairdo is EXACTLY like my four-year-old daughter’s. And like mine when she has enough hair-ties….Love the spoon-hanging in the panel with Toni. I so admire the way you draw children!
If Clarice stays, and I expect she won’t, she should lay in her own supply of Tabasco Sauce. The troops use them to make the less popular menus of MRE’s palateable.
Yeah, yeah, Stu’s being insensitive. But what character here hasn’t been? They all have flaws, and that’s cool. Insentivity station? Mo, Clarice, Sydney…
I still love Stuart. And maybe he’s not being insensitive, maybe he’s angry. It seems to be he’d identify with Toni here. His values (family and home first, career second) are the the ones that Clarice has devalued all this time, and now she’s suffering as a result, and maybe that just pisses him off enough that he can’t offer unmixed hospitality. Hasn’t that ever happened to you? You want to be welcoming, and for the most part you can be, but those little comments sneak out…
Since I live in a house where we keep the thermostat at 52 so our second floor is a more livable (and sleepable) 64, I can’t really bitch about Stuart’s thermostat setting.
But OMG Stuart is a horrible, self-centered, insensitive asshole. The only reason I can think of for Sparrow to stay with him is because he’s free (monetarily, not emotionally) childcare and because she doesn’t have the time to break up with him.
Possible solution:
Mo boots Sydney
Clarice moves in with Mo
Sydney moves in with Sparrow, Lois, and Stuart
Sparrow, fueled by Sydney’s ample sarcasm, boots Stuart
Stuart lives in street, on whatever he can make as a bicycle courier, where he can be superior at everyone in the world
Sparrow, Lois, and Sydney turn up the thermostat, drink hot coffee, and use Sydney’s vast entertainment system
Jen - Seattle was hit by a severe windstorm last year. Trees down everywhere, taking down power lines with it. We were without power for 5 days; the only good part was that our nightly lows were in the 30F, so the house bottomed out around 40F.
But yeah, nothing like a nice bathroom at 40F. I’d run hot water into the bathtub and let it sit. After ten-fifteen minutes the bathroom would be 60F. Suddenly 60F was *MARVELOUS*. But not at *MARVELOUS* as getting power back!
The very best thing about not having a roomate this year is that our heat bill and electric bill are down almost by half. The thermostat is the hardest compromise to make - some of us were raised frugal, and some people feel like “I have a job, why should I have to wear socks in my own house?”
But, yeah, Stuart’s being a dipshit - most locavores eat salt and spices. Greens you shouldn’t have to import, though - we’ve got live parsley, beets, and kale even though it was 5 degrees outside yesterday.
Hey, don’t nobody denigrate kasha varnishkes! I love them (although eating them without salt would indeed make me shudder). Very little seems cozier to me in the winter than KV with a side of steamed chard with butter and vinegar. They’re even OK with veggie broth in place of the chicken broth–although they’re better with veggie chicken-broth substitute (my co-op has this and it’s been very helpful in recipe adaptation).
My view on the local eating–why the heck can’t Stuart at least buy some nice sea salt at the co-op (ours has several versions, including foofoo sel de gris), thereby supporting the local co-op, if not necessarily the local food producers? Isn’t that just as important?
Also–I admit I haven’t read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle and am reluctant to, because I did read the essay that apparently started the whole thing, “Lily’s Chickens,” in Small Wonder, and I found Kingsolver almost insufferably sanctimonious, although I’ve previously been a great fan and will probably continue to be such regarding her fiction (like to see her get back to it). However, I do know from book reviews that even she allowed each family member to have at least one exemption from local eating (coffee, I believe, being hers!). Can’t Stuart budge that far?
You’veGotRed–re Jiao Raizel’s dialogue, this isn’t her first, BUT, it’s actually her second about the Frosted Fruit Bats (they may have even been her first words!). I recall a strip from a couple years ago involving a supermarket tantrum in which Stuart said that JR knew six words and three of them were FFB (at that point, pronounced “Fozzy Foo Baps.”
Nina–thank you for “Jiao,” but I’m wondering about “Raizel.” Some years ago I was involved with a play in which one of the characters, who had anglicized her name to Rose, was referred to as “Raizel” by her German-Jewish sister. That actor (who did have a dialect coach) pronounced it “Hry-zl” (sort of a gutteral, aspirated R), and that’s how I’ve been pronouncing JR’s name in my head. Am I totally off base?
I used to feel bad for Clarice, and hoped they’d get back together but now I feel like saying, “I hope you’re happy with the path you’ve chosen!” and thumbing my nose at her…..But some of annoyance at Clarice might stem from my own personal drama (just found out my partner of 8 years has been flirting with some girl on facebook)…..
Yiddish has multiple dialects and varying pronouciations…as in the continuing argument about how to say “kugel” (noodle pudding)…keh-gill, koo-ghol, kuh-ghol… I don’t think there’s a definitive answer.
If you wanted to be really polite you could ask Jiao’s parents how they pronounce it. In my family we say KUH-ghol and we’d say RAY-szl (the way Nina explained it).
I have some friends who ate local because they were macrobiotic. But if you’re concerned about eating local for reasons of conservation…and you buy salt, coffee and soy sauce at certain times of the year…couldn’t you just buy more and stock up? Wouldn’t that have the same environmental impact?
Did you see the story about the family who was trying to live low impact for a year? They had a box of worms in their kitchen to eat their compost? That was inspiring.
Hm. As a member of a collective household for the past several years, I think I’m noticing one thing about what Stuart’s doing here. Namely: in an established household, there are lots of compromises. One person wants to be local-grown vegan, one person is damned if she’s going to give up McDonald’s cheeseburgers, one person doesn’t care either way but would really appreciate it if there’s some food on the table when she gets home from work, and one person wants Frosted Fruit Bats. And everyone argues about this, pretty much constantly, and you eventually come to a solution everyone likes, or at least one that everyone can live with.
But when you bring a new person in, everyone suddenly sees that person as someone they could bring in on their side of the argument. I’d be willing to bet that it’s only because Stuart is the only one home that he can so blithely talk about how “we” do things this way. If it were just Clarice and Lois, I bet Lois would be saying that “we” do things very differently (although being Lois, she might be more upfront about the disagreements between her and the other housemates– Stuart’s always been more fanatically enthusiastic).
I’m hoping Clarice sticks it out long enough to put her foot down, and start pointing out that she is a housemate, not a guest, so she has rights too– to help make decisions, not just “get used to” what someone else decides. Cuz collective housing is awesome when it really is collective, and I could see Lois feeling pretty shoved to the side by the heteronormativity of it all lately. I’ve always found the Lois/Sparrow/Etc. household pretty inspirational, and glad that it’s hung on, despite all the changes everyone’s been through. Go communes!
Eating local does seem sometimes to become a euphemism for food fascism.
I had a roommate who violently insisted that we couldn’t use the central heat, no matter how cold it got (to be absolutely fair, this was in Santa Cruz) and unlike Stuart I stopped wearing my Utilikilt at home, ’cause I was freezing. Notice his leggings/long underwear/whatever, Stuart is cold, but his self-righteousness is keeping him toasty….I hope Clarice finds comfort, hopefully with Toni….Dammit! I wish I was ‘fousands of miles away’ eating ‘Frosted Fruit Bats,’ too!
I think Gaudior’s right, and I also think that Stuart’s doing what he’s doing because he doesn’t have anywhere else to establish a power base. Sparrow has her job and as Executive Director, she’s very much in power. I’m not even sure that power matters that much to Lois, but at the very least she has her job and a relationship outside of the household to diversify her interests and participation in community. Since Stuart no longer has a job, the house is his power structure and he’s assuming authority because he can. Being the more active parent also contributes to that because he has to establish himself as authority figure for JR–I think he’s just extending his parental authority to the rest of his household, in spite of the fact that they’re adults and don’t need a parent!
I think he should go back to work, even if it’s part-time. Or at least get really involved in local politics rather than blogging and boycotting within his own home.
No, no—if men were reptiles, they couldn’t cope with cold weather; that’s why there’s snakes in Arizona, and not Minnesota. Women, apparently, are reptiles, men are mammals. This is, uh, why men have hair. And women lay eggs. Or something.
Come to think of it Sparrow and Lois and Ginger went through a similar thing before with Milkweed. Saying they couldn’t use their lightbulbs and sneering at what they were eating, etc. Basically, as self-righteous as one may feel about how they eat or live, gently trying to introduce your housemates to it, and influence their decisions by talking about it, is going to be more effective than trying to impose your values on them. With the caveate that I’m lucky if I can feed myself at all, so sometimes it has to be McDonald’s. There’s one across the street.
Suz- yeah, I live somewhere where the cold spot of the winter has highs below freezing. I think that counts. If cultures can have cuisines, which are really food and spice habits, why not comfort level habits? Yeah, I’m more diversified in my eating as an adult than just what I was fed growing up, but how many people consider mulled wine a holiday basic? How long do these habits take to wear down to nothing in the child-rearing heritage? I really just don’t know.
I like the idea somebody posted about Stuart secretly being worried about Sparrow’s being at work all the time. That makes sense to me.
Yeah to the person who knew about the salt tax in India. It was inforced with a massive hedge around a large swath of India. There’s a book out on it now, The Great Hedge of India. Pretty weird piece o history!
I think Stuart is using the house as a lab for his political leanings. Lois is already checked out. She has her own little family to spend time with. Sparrow is checked out. She’s at work all the time. So Stuart is alone to do whatever tickles his fancy. Clarice has to negotiate her terms with him. Or, she might just go back to work like Sparrow is doing.
As for Sydney potentially moving, I suspect she has the income to go live by herself if things don’t work with Mo. Mo has been in that apartment for so long, that I think rent control (assuming the fictitious town of Bechdelville has it) would be to her advantage.
Of course, JR might knock some sense into her daddy. That’d be very deliciously funny. “Fwuitbats NOW, or I go on a hunger stwike! I am being opwessed by the MAN!”
The paralel threads of invective against Stuart and evidence that men are reptiles (i.e. cold-blooded) is beginning to make me nervous.
I think Stuart is, and has been, acting in many ways like a (stero)typical stay-at-home-parent. Except, unlike Toni, the other stay-at-home-parent we’ve seen, he isn’t complaining about it: he seems happy with his role, if a little self-righteous. But sometimes SAHP’s get isolated. They over-parent (i.e., folks who aren’t their kids). They start to feel, and act, as if the home is their sphere completely and exclusively (after all, they spend all day every day there). It doesn’t have anything to do with his gender. But instead of seeing him as typical (as we might a stay-at-home-mom), instead of gently laughing or pitying him, this forum has impugned his morals, motives and personality and suggested he be dumped and kicked out of the house.
Do we have any evidence he’s a bad dad? I mean, parents can be annoying or overprotective, but is he harming his child? And is there any evidence that his housemates (and partner) are really unhappy with him–and not just the usual annoyance that comes, sometimes, with co-habiting with other human beings, even ones we love? Would it have been suggested that he was being a whiner, food fascist, and should be ejected from the house if he were female? I think some comments here have smacked of sexism, and the “men are reptiles” bit doesn’t help.
I’ve mentioned some negatives: Stuart’s isolated, he’s rigid, and his comments to Clarice were, at best, ill-chosen. But he’s also loyal, welcoming, committed, community-minded, and principled. Not to mention, though we don’t see it here, he has a good sense of humor. And incredibly graceful and comfortable in a role in which most men would squirm, and which society laughs at and scorns. Give the guy(s) a break.
When the trio (Lois, Ginger, Sparrow) bought the house (many, many years ago), I was under the impression that payments and ownership were divided equally. I was also under the impression that Stuart was a renter with the trio as landlords. If this is true, couldn’t Lois and Clarice join together and insist on better and warmer house rules….
I never liked Stuart and still want Sparrow to toss him out on his kilt-covered butt! Down with Stuart!
Maggie, K. and byrdie: Those are the two most compelling explanations for Stuart’s behavior I’ve heard so far.
Stuart needs to punch a guy who is threatening to his family or housemates right about now. It would do a lot to remind us why he’s even here. Or maybe Liz Farkas-McLaughlin. Whichever.
JenK, I’ve always taken it for granted that the action unfolds in Northampton, Massachusetts, but I could be wrong. (I went to U-Mass, so it’s easy to recognize this small, cosmopolitan, lesbian-redolent city as Noho in a way that I couldn’t as, say, South Bend, because I’ve never been there.)
Vicki: I think Stuart would suddenly become deathly quiet and start staring at the wall for hours on end. Initially, the rest of the house would enjoy the qyuiet, but after a while, it would start to get…SCARY…
Alex: Damn, that really makes me mad. Someone call in The Equalizer.
The term “stay-at-home-mom” or “stay-at-home-parent” cracks me up because it seems this parent is the one to spend his or her life outside the house, buying food and clothes, getting the kids to school, the dog to the vet, the car to mechanic, etc. etc.
Why is Stuart being so over-the-top? In a twice monthly strip with over 30 regular or semi-regular characters, it is tough to nuance each player. While I love Gaudior’s take on why Stuart is playing to his sterotypical ends here (and it makes sense), I also believe there are limitations to how much a cartoonist/writer can do in the time and space she has.
Sparrow & Ginger bought the house. Stuart and Lois are renters (Lois because she defaulted on her student loans, and her credit wasn’t good enough for a mortgage). I don’t know what the situation is now that Ginger is no longer a house-mate.
Bechdel has said that although the city the dykes-and-sundries live in resembles NoHo/JP/Oakland/Madison/Twin Cities, etc. it’s none of those–an imaginary pastiche.
Ellen–you’re right on both counts. I do think in part Stuart (the character, as a device) is playing the stereotypical part to set up the interaction between Clarice and Toni, which is the strip’s emotional moment.
I love all of your episodes. I am amazed at your ability to maintain their personalities. I know how Clarice feels. I almost became her, and then I remembered why I love my family.
Oh C’mon, Stuart’s not perfect, far from it, but so are the other characters! Is it just me and my rather un sentimental attitude toward kids or is Jaio a little brat, sort of going the way of Isabel?
I don’t see Lois putting up with house conditions as depicted in this script. It has been suggested that she’s spending most of her time with Jasmine, but that doesn’t explain why whe’d invite Clarice into such an unpleasant environment. Perhaps she’s looking for an ally?
It’s a measure of our regard for Alison that we’re all dissecting the strip to this extent. No one is assuming that anything is just the result of sloppy writing. We all take it as a given that Alison has thought it all through, and has a plan. Go Alison!
I really hope Clarice makes her way back home. Toni, just get over that Gloria chick already. I love how thru the years Alison has made Toni the one who waves the Marriage banner, while Clarice seemed a little skittish about commitment. Now we see true colors! I’m in a very long term relationship, and I always root for them. I hope those two survive! Forgot to include it in my comment above about Stuart, but is it just me or is Stuart really eccentric! He could be a riot as a character if he is allowed to grow old in this strip!
JenInCalifornia, since I don’t think anyone’s addressed your questions about Toni and Gloria’s relationship issues, I’m jumping in on that one. I don’t think their relationship “failed miserably” but it hit some snags largely due to external influences, rather than guilt or incompatibility.
First there was the issue with Raffi sending the video of Clarice and Toni arguing about Toni’s infidelity with Gloria to the Freedom to Marry mailing list. That made both Toni and Gloria persona non grata with Freedom to Marry (and subject to nasty attacks from Liz McLaughlin-Farkas) because they were seen as detrimental to the cause (i.e., demonstrating that gay people can’t keep it in their pants, so why should they be allowed to get married anyway if they’re just going to cheat). That pretty much put the nail in the coffin on both Ana and Gloria’s and Clarice and Toni’s relationships (both already on the skids) and most likely caused some trauma to Toni and Gloria’s developing relationship. Understandable.
Then they ran into problems because Toni and Clarice had decided to stay in the house together even though they were splitting up personally; Clarice said expressly that she couldn’t do that if Toni was going to date (anyone, I think, not just Gloria). I think Toni basically blew her off on that (rightfully so) and went ahead with dating Gloria (they went to the movies, Gloria and Stella came over for leaf-raking, etc.); even so, that’s going to put a crimp in a blossoming relationship. Clarice finally moved out because she couldn’t stand seeing them together–but I think she should have anyway, because if she wasn’t going to be with Toni romantically she had no right to dictate who Toni could and couldn’t see. She may have realized that subconsciously, even if she thought she was moving out just to spare herself some pain.
I don’t know if I’d describe what’s going on between Toni and Gloria as “domestic bliss” necessarily–more as building a gradual connection. They’re happy but it has to be kind of a low-key and cautious happy, because they’re both still dealing with the repercussions of divorce and all its attendant life changes. Having Raffi and Stella and their longtime friendship helps (and I think that definitely helps the kids too).
Incidentally, I’ve wondered about the legal ramifications of Toni and Clarice’s split, because we haven’t seen anything legal other than the changing of the wills. I’m assuming that Clarice is paying child support for Raffi (I strongly expect she’d do so ethically even if she wasn’t made to do so legally, because she is the higher earner, Toni is the primary parent–especially with Raffi staying in the house–and she’d recognize the need to chip in). Child support *might* be enough to allow Toni to meet the mortgage even if she’s not getting any kind of alimony (and Toni would be able to figure out any money-saving strategies), and Clarice may have been able to afford that, especially if her rent in the group house isn’t too high. I don’t know, it just seemed a little weird to me to have the financial reason for the two of them staying in the house be so prominent and then have Clarice decide to leave. Do folks think it was really just rationalization on Toni and Clarice’s part because the actual, physical split was too difficult–the final statement that the relationship was really, really over–rather than actual financial strain? I tend to lean that way.
Oh K.B., then c’mon over to my condo! They keep the heat on in this building Cranked to 80! I live in MA. and I go outside and I’m shocked about how cold it is. (Not that I should be, it IS November!)
I love Kasha Varnishkas! Best Kasha was at 2nd Ave Deli in NYC, but it closed!! But hey, Kasha, it needs salt! Besides, salt is not exactly something that is hard to store in the winter to eat locally, at least that’s what i seem to remember historically before modern times…!
Wow, I like Anonymous’ Sparrow + Clarice — maybe when the meet up at a campaign / lobbying function in a hotel together.
I can’t believe all the people who are calling the one person making a political difference a “sell out”. (Well, one of three if you count Toni & Gloria’s grass roots work, or there’s also Harriet last I knew.) I doubt she’s making significant money, just more than running a shelter, and I’m sure she would be making a difference!
‘I don’t see Lois putting up with house conditions as depicted in this script. It has been suggested that she’s spending most of her time with Jasmine, but that doesn’t explain why whe’d invite Clarice into such an unpleasant environment. Perhaps she’s looking for an ally?’
You know, I do see Lois putting up with it. She may not like it too much, but I always saw her as kind of laid back. She WAS Mo’s buddy for ever, after all. You have to be laid back to deal with her.She does seem to get along with Stuart, too, which is a testament to her easy going nature. With Clarice in the house, things would be more equitable for Lois. Right now, it’s like she’s in the middle of this family, like a stray Aunt or something, its got to be a weird dynamic.
K, JenK, I know, I know. It’s just my own private intellectual conceit that anchors the strip in the Twin Cities, since I lived in St. Paul and worked in inner-South Minneapolis in the late 80’s and early 90’s, when Alison was living and working there. Some of the background artwork and scenes in “Spawn of DTWOF”, in particular, look *very* familiar, even if never specifically identified. I swear I recognize some of the buildings that Mo is biking past on her way home from Raffi’s delivery. They look a lot like the street fronts on South Franklin at the time. Allow me my illusions, gosh darn it !! (grin)
Yeah, K’s right. There’s no reason to kick Stuart out. He’s been a great dad for Jiao and Sparrow certainly hasn’t felt a need to dump him (as far as we know). He’s being assy, but so has everyone else at one point or another.
Hey all you Stuarthaters- I’m a Stuatlover, in all this kilted liberal stayathomedadness. Okay, on the whole Sparrow doesn’t like him or something; Sparrow, of all people should feel comfortable making her own relationship choices if anyone should, working for shelters and NARAL and such! Yeah, she got annoyed when everyone wanted a baby so much, but as soon as Mo affirmed her ambivialance about making such a huge commitment, she strolled right over to the pregnancy books. Has it occured to anyone that Sparrow and Stuart love each other? That maybe they even have great sex? He must be a little special to have won the heart of a lesbian. Everyone talks about Toni and Clarice’s relationship, and beleive me, I’m mourning with you, but they arn’t the ONLY parenting couple in the strip. I think Jaio Raizel (cont)
Wow.
Reeeeely want to feel sorry for Clarice but hey, she did foresee this right? I think a few unfamiliar inconveniences are getting blown up because she’s depressed re: Toni. I wish I didn’t know what that feels like. Chin up dollface.
Fuzzy bastard you are one hilarious mammal dude. How could I have been so blind? Of course I am reptile! Parthenogenetic lizard woman!
CatPimp: can’t wait for the Children’s Crusade. “Ceweal fowever! Buckwheat never!”
K, you are voice of reason, thanks for reigning it in. Yes this is kind of a lowpoint in my appreciation of Stuart, but he’s not a deadbeat! He’s doing a pretty thankless (speaking from experience) job, and getting a bit territorial - so sue him. To me he sounds like the voice of Clarice’s conscience, you know the little angel/devil sitting on her shoulder?
martinet: “gradual connection”? Didn’t T & G smooch in like, 1994 or something? And didn’t Toni get caught with G’s underwear years ago? I reckon they are waaaaaay into the connection thing.
And before I forget, thanks AB for clearing up the “where does Jasmine live?” question! Nice exposition!
Martinet, Thanks for the reminder on some of the history, believe it or not, I had forgotten about the video debacle leading to awkwarkness between Toni and Gloria. I just remembered there was awkwardness in there somewhere.
It’s not really domestic bliss, you’re right. It’s just seems strange because I see them together, but I don’t get any read on their feelings. Maybe everyone’s just a little overwhelmed right now, which probably rings true, considering the situation.
In reading everyone’s comments on Stuart, I’m rethinking my previous harshness, bourne not out of anger at whole race of “reptilian” males but out of disappointment. I still feel like he’s gotten more controlling and insensitive since the pregnancy, it’s not just a new thing. But some of the rationales provided by Maggie, Byrdie and Ellen are pretty interesting. I guess it’s pretty superficial of me to say that he’s suddenly changed so I don’t like him. It’s a more reasonable assumption to say that he’s got something going on emotionally and he’s freakin’ out a little. He’s still being an insensitive bimbo right now, but at least there might be some underlying cause. Meaning, hope springing eternal, he might come round in some way.
I love that Mulieribus remembered Milkwood, the persistant house-guest/cultural investigator ! If memory serves, Sparrow eventually caught on to Milkwoods hypocrisy and self-righteousness and booted her butt to the curb. While I definitely don’t want to see Stuart get booted, it might be a good thing for all concerned if Sparrow called him on some of his crap and insisted on some sort of spiritual cleansing (Black Cohash anyone?)
Truthfully, I’m sure that I feel tons more disappointed and upset and unhappy and low-patience with Stuart’s self-absorption and controlling ways because he’s a feminist. That’s always the way. It’s always high expectations on those we trust and feel safe with. They are the ones we can’t stand to have hurt us. We’ve sadly gotten resigned to being stomped on by the rest. And I’m not bashing on Stuart cause he’s a guy, I feel the same way when Mo or Toni acts hurtful as well.
I’d like to say the same thing about Sydney, but she warned us right from the start that she was “predatory, yet alluring”. I’ve never trusted that little snake in the grass, speaking of reptiles, (smile). Poor thing.
is a lucky kid to have such parents- dads like Stuart arn’t exactly a dime a dozen, and many moms arn’t nearly as empowered and confidant as Sparrow, either.
Yeah, Stuart could’ve picked his words better, but for heaven’s sake, Clarice does seem to need a wake up call, and she is perfectly capable of buying her own food or eating out. She has an instant place to live,with people she’s known for years and years, which is often not the ways those things go, and as someone who’s spent many a night on nature’s thermostat, pull your head out of your tax bracket and put on a sweater.
Why does everyone dump on Stuart so much? He’s the only male character we see much of these days, and he’s practically designed to be a feminist’s dream, but does he get kudos for being progressive, nonviolent, enviormentally aware, politically active, a wonderful dad, or welcoming and helping to homeschool Janis who he supposedly can’t accept? No! Yah gotta praise people for doing something right, not just scold them for doing wrong, if you really want a better world. He doesn’t even bug Sparrow to bring another woman to bed! (Of corse, she’d probably throw him across the room. Or would she?) C’mon, people! Give the guy a break!
And by the way, thanks for the Jiao Raizel pronunciation! I’d been wondering about that since she was born! My son is just slightly younger than her, she being born in the winter and he in the spring, and it is so cool to watch them grow up together, as it were!
K, when you say: “I think some comments here [about Stuart] have smacked of sexism,” you are forgetting that men can never be the victims of sexism, but only the perpetrators and beneficiaries. It’s back to Re-Education Camp for you!
If you want to “eat locally” in a place with serious winters, you need to do a lot of canning and drying and stuff in the summer and fall. But it would be just like Stuart, Sparrow and Lois to jump into something like that head first without thinking it through. And Stuart would tend to overdo it. This will only last until Lois rebels, backed by Sparrow and Clarice.
Stuart’s “put my family first” remark is probably triggered by a resentment of Sparrow not putting in as much “family time” as he would like. He probably genuinely means to cheer Clarice up, he’s just totally oblivious to her actual feelings, as he tends to be toward reality in general. Clarice should just blow up at him, he would realize what a jerk he’s been and then probably overdo it in the other direction; being overly solicitious with Clarice and with Sparrow. I think this is where Sparrow and Stuart are growing apart, she used to be as impractical as he is, but having a baby and financially supporting the family have brought her more in contact with reality.
Clarice and Toni will probably play “bad-timing” for a while. Toni will be depressed the next morning (whether she sleeps with Gloria or not) and guilty about brushing Clarice off. She will want to talk to Clarice, who will be mad and not want to talk to her. This can go on until some crisis with Rafi brings them together, at least as friends and co-parents if not lovers. I think Toni will have to have an affair with Gloria, but I don’t see it lasting, maybe because Gloria isn’t an interesting enough character, where would be the *humor* in their relationship?
Isn’t this fun, making detailed analyses of totaly fictional characters? Next installment, the different self-rightiousness os Stuart, Mo and Cynthia.
I’m with Jael. Life without salt is not worth living. (Since when did she start talking in complete sentences, anyway?)
Poor Toni. Stuart is such a sanctimonious shit. The Kuchinich shirt just seals it for me. (Will someone please, PLEASE explain to me why progressives actually back that guy, considdering how he’s fucking ANTI-CHOICE?!?!?)
Jude, I love your plot ideas! Who wouldn’t want a crack at Sidney’s “vast entertainment system”?
Maggie—I agree regarding the Trent Lott/Benjamin Nichols “affair”—Lott is most likely one of those guys who “isn’t gay, just likes to have sex with men.” “Goat blower” was a new one for me, though—that one sent the Diet Coke shooting out of my nose…
Stewart reminds me of a scene I saw in a television show or a movie.
The scene, as I recall it (this is a dim, dim, memory) is of some white teenager dressed up all gangsta and urban, and a black teenager says something to him along the lines of: You dress like me with dreadlocks and all the rest and when you get tired of it, you can get your hair cut and change your clothes and go to the college your parents are going to pay for and you’ll be white and a whole bunch of opportunities will open up for you. I can’t do that; my life isn’t a game for you to play at.
I guess I’m always waiting for jump-to-this, jump-to-that Stewart to suddenly decide he’s going to go on to something other than living with his bi-dyke girlfriend (they are still not married) because at some level it’s all some sort of game to him, whether it’s selling the car after a revelation of how it’s a sarcophagus, regardless of how it inconveniences everyone else who needed that car; whether it’s homeschooling J.R. with some cobbled-together syllabus (oh, Lois, you can teach her French. Well, that solves everything.); whether it’s quitting his job because, brace for it, someone else’s kid said a swear word learned at daycare; etc.
Stewart, I’m sorry, but you’re toxic. You mean well, but you screw up left and right and I have yet to see you actually have a disaster handed to you that you caused and that you took responsibility for and that you cleaned up.
I’ve known a few Stewarts in my time, and each time I see one leaving for the last time, I breathe an enormous sigh of relief.
Zeitgeist, Lois is very laid back, and she’s willing to be lectured and ranted at by Mo or Stuart, but I think she’d draw the line at being told what she can and can’t eat in her own home.
Stuart says “We’re trying to eat local all winter.” but he never defined “We” and I’ve seen no indication that anyone else has agreed to this. Jiao certainly hasn’t!
I was the Anonymous that suggested Clarice + Sparrow. I totally just forgot to put something in the box. :p There, I put something in the box!
Byrdie: No, they didn’t get married-married, but they’re ‘married’ in the sense of shared finances and family, so far as I can tell. The way my peers used to use the term for someone unavailable.
I don’t actually feel like Clarice and Sparrow are such a stretch. A few years and a few collections ago, sure. But they’ve both changed - they’ve basically become modern professionals. They key in to the concept of mutual respect. They’re pessimists to some degree, although Sparrow is very good at the hope-and-work-for-better thing. They might be too alike, but I doubt it.
April: “Didn’t T & G smooch in like, 1994 or something? And didn’t Toni get caught with G’s underwear years ago? I reckon they are waaaaaay into the connection thing.”
Yeah, they did, but I think there’s a big difference between illicit smooching etc. and actually moving into a publicly acknowledged relationship. There’s got to be some transition, and at this point they’re transitional. That has to be the case not just for them but for the kids, who are going to have to get used to the idea of their moms together (and possibly a change in their own relationship if T&G get serious and they become step-siblings).
I think the fact that a whole lot of emotional stuff between T&G hasn’t been shown is partially because *they* wouldn’t actually be showing too much of it at this point–out of caution for themselves as their relationship changes (and has permission to change)–out of respect for the kids, and possibly even so they don’t rub salt in the wounds of their exes (well, at least so Toni doesn’t; I don’t know enough about Gloria and Ana’s breakup to say that she wouldn’t want to hurt Ana). I don’t think Toni does want to hurt Clarice, but I also think that she wants better boundaries and wants Clarice to figure out coping strategies other than dumping on her, as someone already said.
“I don’t actually feel like Clarice and Sparrow are such a stretch”
Maybe not, but the idea sort of squicks me because I feel like the strip would get too incestuous with a permutation like Clarice and Sparrow or (god forbid) Clarice reunited with Mo. (I mean, what is this–For Better or For Worse, where everyone has to reunite with their childhood sweethearts? Oh, please.) Clarice needs some new blood. I liked Aunt Soozie’s suggestion about the vital optimist.
As a European (admittedly, with limited insight into the deeper workings of American politics and economy) I find that Dennis Kucinich is the candidate closest to my heart.
I do feel slightly unsettled at seeing Stuart rooting for him though; not only because I don’t consider myself anywhere near as extreme (for lack of a better word) as our Stu, but also ’cause, y’know, there aren’t, comparatively, that many locavorous stay-at-home dads in utilikilts around - so if they are the ones most likely to vote Kucinich, he doesn’t stand a chance.
338 Responses to “DTWOF episode #516”
November 27th, 2007 at 3:20 pm
am i the first? unbelivable. great again
November 27th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
OMG, they are so getting back together. Fingers crossed.
Way 2 go, martina.
November 27th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
and i, the second? wonderful and painful.
November 27th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
ah, the third. doubtful on the getting back together front.
November 27th, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Poor Clarice… Stewart’s not exactly being sensitive. “I’ve never regretted making my family my top priority” to a woman who’s going through a difficult divorce. Isn’t he usually a little nicer?
November 27th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
I love how Stewart keeps changing his t-shirt!
November 27th, 2007 at 3:35 pm
Now that Sparrow has (for her) sold her soul to the system, I guess someone had to take up the slack in sanctimony…
November 27th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Poor Clarice! I think Clarice should get back together with Mo (though I’d like Mo to get back together with Harriet even more–what’s the matter with me?). Then again, if Clarice can’t take Stuart’s preaching, she couldn’t handle Mo full-time.
Now, other than the obvious glitch, Mo and Stuart …
November 27th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
Isn’t it “locavore?”
November 27th, 2007 at 3:42 pm
Nice Mad-Magazine-esque T-Shirt switcheroo on Stuart.
November 27th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
Y’know, In my thirst for entertainment, I was so looking forward to Clarice moving in with Stuart, Sparrow, et al., that it didn’t occur to me just how miserable it might be for her. Now I feel bad, embarrassed by my selfishness. As she’s a fictional character, this is probably not a healthy reaction
Since this thread is just getting started, this seems as good a place as any to mention that I just recently purchased and read the entire DTWOF bibliography in chronological order over approximately a two-month span and a) Wow. Just, wow… b) aren’t we about due for another book? and c) since I can’t really justify buying all of the books again just for the thrill (much as I want to support AB and all), anyone got any recommendations?
November 27th, 2007 at 3:59 pm
I like the parallel universes - both Toni and Clarice are having dinner with another adult and kid, but they are worlds apart. While Toni is playing fun spoon-on-the-nose games, Clarice is literally shivering in her new, sad little room. A tear jerker!
November 27th, 2007 at 4:02 pm
She’ll get used to it… ; )
November 27th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
Always loved the tee-shirt switcheroos. I seem to remember Lois’ tees get switched and the Midwifes, few others….
November 27th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
Stuart’s expression while bragging about his family is also mean…is there some reason he doesn’t like Clarice?
November 27th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
I hope I never have to eat kasha varnishkes, salt or no! And Toni and Gloria have wine, probably not allowed at the Local Only house!
November 27th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
What are kasha varnishkes, anyway? Stuart–even though he’s sensitive, he’s also kind of a zealot.
Clarice could get a space heater. Hopefully she will start to feel like she’s in control of her own life and can make decisions about what she wants out of it.
I think Toni is too happy having Gloria and Stella over for dinner (…the BRADY bunch…) to get back with Clarice.
Maybe in a couple of years Clarice will find a new love and will take what she’s learned the hard way to make it work?
November 27th, 2007 at 4:16 pm
Awww poor Clarice… and then Toni looks so annoyed that she would call her. sniff…sniff… can you get her a kitten or something AB?
November 27th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
I remember, not all that long ago, being that person huddled on the side of her bed, doubting her decisions and living with the consequences. Hang in there, Clarice…it does get better.
November 27th, 2007 at 4:18 pm
Oh, Clarice. It says so much that my heart is going out to her; when she’s reaching out for a lifeline with her phone call to Toni (her hand grasping the wall for both physical and emotional support), there’s that look of loneliness and isolation and sadness just all over her face.
Hopefully things will start to get easier rather than more difficult. And hopefully I will remember before too long that she is, after all, a fictional character.
November 27th, 2007 at 4:19 pm
dripping with irony. My heart breaks for Clarice.
Kashka varnishkes: buckwheat groats and bowtie pasta, among other ingredients. Here’s a good link: http://wordstoeatby.blogspot.com/2004/12/madelei
November 27th, 2007 at 4:20 pm
Aaaah, poor Clarice! This one made me so sad!!
Had to laugh about the 64 degrees though. I live in MA, its cold here, and I always know exactly whose house I must bring a hat to. (To whose house I must bring a hat?) I will never be a REAL New Englander, because I like to keep the heat at (get ready to be shocked) seventy!
November 27th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
64? That’s balmy! We keep it at 60. I’m from California but live in Iowa now–and I don’t understand why people in cold climates keep their heat up so dang high.
Am I being insensitive?
November 27th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
It’s going to be cool to see Jiao R.?. now that she’s becoming person. She and Stuart could have an interesting dynamic. It’s interesting to see Clarice feeling nostalgic for her family after all the years of feeling impeded by it. I like this new setup; it gives the characters fresh situations and lets us see them from new angles.
November 27th, 2007 at 4:26 pm
Frosted Fruit Bats! Just like Raffi… I want some now.
November 27th, 2007 at 4:39 pm
Huh, where we live, it’s “locavore”…?
November 27th, 2007 at 4:40 pm
Stuart has been incredibly self-righteous and insensitive, mostly at Sparrow lately, but also at Janis. I don’t know why it seems different here except people are more sensitive to someone going through a break up.
I feel sorry for Toni though too! She’s trying to put her life back together and here she is having a wonderful time and she gets brought down by Clarice again. I’d feel more sorry if she hadn’t kept the house, but then she was the one who wanted it. I hope she isn’t taking Clarice to the cleaners financially. Houses are by their nature unfair — harder to deal with than marriages or kids, because there’s only one and you can’t get the value back out of it to split.
If I were Clarice I’d start working late and texting with Sparrow and/or Lois to figure out when it’s safe to go home.
May as well make more money while you are miserable so you can spend it on someone when you find them.
November 27th, 2007 at 4:40 pm
For Kasha Varnishkes, see “Feed Me Bubbe Episode #15″ (google it yourself, I’m not going to put a link that messes up the beautiful formatting of this page). Although Bubbe does add salt…
November 27th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
PS Stuart can’t stop Clarice from buying her own salt and coffee, can he? “We” must mean him and Sparrow, right?
November 27th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
Ouch…though I realize Clarice wasn’t exactly a bystander in her divorce, it still hurts to see her like this…and for Toni to have seemingly moved on so easily…
November 27th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
I’ve always wondered what Sparrow saw in Stuart. He’s really quite rude - wouldn’t they have explained the house “rules” to Clarice before she moved in? (Did Lois agree to all this, or is she at Jasmine’s all the time so she can get some salt into her system?)
November 27th, 2007 at 4:57 pm
Jaibe, I bet Lois is still drinking coffee with her doughnuts.
Re: wine, there are local vineyards all over - but God, eating local in winter sucks! At least in summer there’s fruit and greens ripening, not just root vegetables!
November 27th, 2007 at 5:15 pm
JenK…ah, yes, that fine Minnesota wine. Think I’d rather have a Leinenkugels.
November 27th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
Dang. I *like* Stuart, and even *I* want to smack him upside the head this time around. And just to give you a basis for comparison, I’ve never felt that way about Sydney.
Say…is this the first actual dialogue JR has had? It’s the first I remember.
This is just one of the many reasons I don’t ever, EVER want to have kids: the fear that their first words will be, “I want Frosted Fruit Bats.”
Jaibe: I get the feeling that “We” means Stuart. And because everyone else in the house is too busy trying to get by in 21st-Century America to arrange their own meal plan, it also means everyone else in the house by default. Stuart, being Stuart, mistakes this exhausted resignation for consensus.
Ksbel: Stuart would never ADMIT that he doesn’t like a member of the happy little family depicted in this strip, that’s for sure. But why wouldn’t he like Clarice. Hmmmm…Gloria was persona non grata among some of the characters for a while because Clarice’s affair with her nearly broke up her and Toni years and years ago. Having lived with Ginger for so long, could it be that he somehow feels a similar hostility towards Clarice as the villain in that scenario? And really, who knows what Ginger has said about Clarice in the intervening years?
DISCLAIMER: I like Ginger (I like EVERONE, don’t I!), but…it always seemed strange to me that she didn’t experience more lasting consequences to her actions; there were certainly lasting consequences for Toni & Clarice…in fact, I think they might not be where they are today if Clarice had never consented to making a two-backed beast with Ginger. Really, it hadn’t even occurred to me until Ksbel suggested it that there might be a fellow cast member Stuart passive-aggressively didn’t like, or that it might be Clarice, and if so, that there had to be a reason why. So don’t blame me. :->
Oh, and Pearlie, I’ve been rooting for Clarice and Toni since their troubles began. You’re not alone…
Still pulling for more face time for old, even forgotten characters…
Ray
P.S. It’s a pity Clarice and the rest of our endearing Sapphic Justice League don’t live in Seattle. For us Seattleites, “eating local” means you can have just about anything you want. Extremely varied terroir and growing/climatic/agricultural/wildlife conditions within a relatively small radius. We’re lucky that way. :->
November 27th, 2007 at 5:40 pm
Is it just me, or does life not seem to be going so swimmingly for Toni, either? I mean, there’s the charming scene, but she is looking awfully worn.
I recently moved from Seattle to Cleveland… and this will be my first winter of learning what eating locally here really means. (I’m not hard core. Every January I lose it and buy Mexican red peppers and zucchini. But while I adore our farmer’s market, I’m already in WA veggie withdrawal. Wah…)
November 27th, 2007 at 6:02 pm
“Local only”? Cut that man’s WiFi off!
Stuart is a self centered git. “I’m sorry you broke up with Toni. Go invite Toni over for a celebration.” He’s been pretty oblivious to other people for a while now.
Git git git.
November 27th, 2007 at 6:02 pm
Clarice needs a companion to keep her warm and cozy this winter. I think she should meet up with a sex positive, fun loving, vivacious, creative woman who salts her kasha and is openly and pathologically optimistic… a nice counterpoint to the doom and gloom that Mo espouses.
I do 60 degrees by night and 65 or 66 by day…but then again, I’m perimenopausal so the internal furnace is always burning.
November 27th, 2007 at 6:05 pm
After years of practice I’ve learned I can tolerate 66 but 65 makes me miserable. So you can guess where my heat setting is. The upstairs is always a degree or two cooler.
I don’t wear gats indoors ut frewuently wear hoodie sweatshirts.
November 27th, 2007 at 6:06 pm
Hmm, that looks like leafy greens and cherry tomatoes, though, so either there’s a late crop in their undisclosed location, or perhaps a bit of greenhouse action going on.
Yup, Stuart is acting a tad like the insensitive zealot… and Clarice appears to be on the woe is me dramamongering tip, mining for misery! A tip: Rolling down your sleeves is a handy first step to warmth…
November 27th, 2007 at 6:10 pm
Watching other people’s breakups is really depressing.
November 27th, 2007 at 6:12 pm
Have any of you read Barbara Kingsolver’s latest book Animal,Mineral,Vegetable? It’s about the decision of her and her family,who live on a farm, to eat local for a year. They’re in SW Virginia,which makes it much easier. And I don’t think they’re self-righteous about it.
Barbara’s husband Stephen was featured recently talking to David Broncaccio on PBS about the cooperative farming group he’s helped start. Economic necessity has made some neighboring tobacco farmers switch from growing tobacco to raising organic veggies. So it isn’t just “self-rigteous” progressives who’re doing things differently.
But I can see how trying to buy locally in a Midwest winter would be very difficult. Perhaps Clarice can utilize her well-honed persuasive skills to instigate a compromise.
November 27th, 2007 at 6:15 pm
I keep it at 65 here. Having personally replaced all the doors and windows, I can guarantee it’s not drafty, so 65 is plenty warm.
Stuart has always been self-centered. I’ve never liked him.
The final panel was so sad!
November 27th, 2007 at 6:37 pm
Hi tylik, yeah, it’s me. One question is, how do you define “local”?
Deena, I thought Alison said it had a twin cities feel but she tries to keep it relatively regionless (although the annual snowfall does eliminate some regions - like western WA). Re: wine, I started to list WA, OR, CA, MI, NC, NM, NY …. and gave up and said “all over”
Re: the ritual, it *could* be a helping-to-move-on thing to include Toni in the ritual. If, you know, Clarice also wanted to do the ritual. Which we don’t know.
Gah. I don’t remember Stuart as being quite so insensitive. I keep wondering what Lois would interject to his babbling if she where there - thoughts?
(Oh, and I’m not saying that Alison SHOULD have had Lois there. As the point is to show Clarice in a state of culture shock / OMGWTF-have-I-done?, Lois’ leavening would not be useful to the strip
November 27th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
That was always my dad’s response when I complained about our house being kept cold in the Michigan winter: “Go put on a sweater.” I would then point out to him that I was already wearing a sweater, and occasionally two.
FWIW, sleeping bag manufacturers say that, on average, women “sleep colder” than men and thus require more insulation to maintain the same degree of comfort. Based on my personal experience with thermostat battles, this seems right to me.
November 27th, 2007 at 7:02 pm
how come that Lois and Sparrow agreed with this “keep it local” - no coffee etc., thing? hardly can believe it. also, why is Stewart getting so much space? is all well in Sparrow’ and Stewart’s relationship? sex-wise? or why is he becoming this “überhousewife” ? just some thoughts..
November 27th, 2007 at 7:08 pm
I used to like Stuart, but a friend of mine insisted he was horrible and a control freak. Okay, Pat, I believe you now!
What a kilt-clad butthead.
Love where J.R. is going with the “I wish I was fousands of miles away!” “fousands”!!!
November 27th, 2007 at 7:09 pm
yes, eating local in the winter seems like a ridiculous (and expensive) challenge int his modern era.
I really empathize with Clarice in this strip. Since this past summer I have had multiple instances of forgetting and calling my ex to tell a story or get support and received the cold shoulder and the reminder that I am no longer a part of their life and they are happier that way. It hurts like a knife. Actually, it hurts a lot worse than that. It hurts like loads of stones pressing down on your chest for day, slowly breaking your ribs.
November 27th, 2007 at 7:32 pm
I suspect that Clarice will “get used to it” by spending as much time as possible away from home. that seems to be Lois’s tactic.
wonder whose home is the warmest and has the best food? Clarice may want to hang out with Sydney — or Ginger?
YouveGotRedOnYou, I suspect that Ginger didn’t have more lasting consequences for her fling with Clarice simply because she’s single. Ginger’s friends don’t seem to credit her for Toni and Clarice’s marital problems, and I can imagine their not wanting to shun one of their own.
interesting to consider how Toni’s doing just now; we don’t have much to go on. maybe that’ll be revealed in another strip?
November 27th, 2007 at 7:40 pm
I don’t have a thermostat, I use the cat. The tighter they curl, the colder it is. Paws over the nose means I put the heating on - one room at a time. But then I do have my own inbuilt insulation layer.
Oil has gone over that $100 barrel. Get used to cooler rooms, people, and leave some oil for our grandchildren.
November 27th, 2007 at 7:43 pm
Oh wow. I’ve been Clarice fairly recently, only I didn’t call my ex, I just flew through the Netflix pretty fast. (and I didn’t cheat on anybody)
Somebody from California wondered why northerners keep their thermostats up so high. Two thoughts:
1) used to be wood heating or radiators, so there was a heat source and therefore more of an ability to self regulate by sitting nearer or further from the hot spot (and wood stoves had to be hot to keep the chimney cleaner), so people are looking for the same general experience but with a heat pump furnace thing. (cultural habits not individual habits)
2) I once heard that people don’t get cold in Alaska. Either they’re war, or they’re dead. I’m guessing that the consequences for getting a little chilly in CA are that you get a little chilly. In NY, unless you do something specific to turn it around, you’ll only get chillier and then you’ll get sick. That induces a little cultural paranoia. The death rates from flu and pneumonia are lower than 100 years ago, but not as low as we’d like to think
November 27th, 2007 at 7:46 pm
warm. Warm, not war. Either they’re warm or they’re dead.
November 27th, 2007 at 7:54 pm
Put me in the camp that wants to smack Stuart upside the head. No salt? No coffee? How babaric can you get?
I know it’s fairly early to get OT here, but I found out about this little rumor, and I pray that it’s true–have y’all heard about this?:
http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/11/you_go_out_to_lunch_and_all_hell_breaks
November 27th, 2007 at 8:12 pm
no salt = goiter
no fruit all winter = scurvy
no coffee = cranky
all point to redefining “local” to be a bit more generous
November 27th, 2007 at 8:49 pm
Seventh Picture Panel: Notice potential stabby-grip of fork in Clarice’s hand.
/that is all.
November 27th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
Stuart has been getting on my last nerve since he quit his job to become a stay at home dad. He has become a one-man, closed rhetorical circuit. No one is there to tell him he’s over the top so he takes the silence for agreement.
The path of least resistence for Clarice would be to spend evenings with Sydney, watching HDTV and drinking single malt. What she really should do is is march over to the thermostat, crank it up, and tell Stuart,”you’ll get used to it.”
November 27th, 2007 at 9:06 pm
Now the mystery of where Jasmine and Janis are living is solved: they have their own place. I know,Lois could move in there and Moe could move into her room. Then she and Stuart could be self-righteous together.
November 27th, 2007 at 9:11 pm
Could I love Jiao Raizel more? I think not. This was another awesome installment. I can so relate to Clarice right now in my own way. Ouch.
November 27th, 2007 at 9:11 pm
Some of us get more miserable than others in cold rooms. And the smugness of people who can handle low temperatures is tiresome. For me it’s 74. No lower than that.
November 27th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
Shado, the rumor indeed is strong that Trent Lott is a “Wide Stance Republican”, which is preferable to calling him gay, even of the closeted variety. At this point, any conservative who makes a noise condemning queers seems likely to be doing kink behind closed doors. Even with the greed motive (for Lott) tossed in, it seems likely.
And Hastert has resigned as well. His willingness to cover up for Foley no doubt arises from more than partisan motives.
The thing is, I don’t think they really are gay. Not as I would define the term. Yeah, they’ll pay for or troll for sex with men, but they also are pedophiles/pederasts, rubber suit wearers, diaper wearers, goat blowers — they’re not just reacting against compulsory heterosexuality, they have no sexual boundaries at all. Except the confusion of sex with power, that’s a constant.
On another note: Stuart was once a refugee taken into that household under sufferance of others. I’ve never seen him as having strong self-esteem, and this current behavior just reinforces it: Clarice is now the “outsider” seeking succour, and he doesn’t quite know how to extend that when it’s not in his direct self-interest to do so. I think in that regard he’s much more like Sydney than Mo. Mo’s heart actually does bleed.
Clarice is beginning the journey of finding out how to create her own happiness, not lashed to the life-goals of another. Either she’ll find the thrill at its root or she’ll go for quicker comfort.
I adore kasha varnishkes, but to eat it without seasoning and yummy add-ons is, well, depressingly gentile.
November 27th, 2007 at 9:34 pm
Have you ever lived somewhere where it gets cold enough to be cold indoors, markmaker? Most of us turn the heat up because it’s really uncomfortable to be cold, not because of any cultural heritage.
I draw the line at two sweaters (or one sweater plus one hoody), which indoors means around 62. Adding another layer makes it hard to bend my arms.
November 27th, 2007 at 9:53 pm
Now that Jiao Raizel is talking, I feel even guiltier that I don’t know how to pronounce her name.
November 27th, 2007 at 9:57 pm
I used to love Stuart, until his insensitivity to Sparrow’s pregnancy concerns went over the top. I used to think he was a good match for Sparrow, who could sometimes be pretty preachy and self-righteous herself. But then he completely ignored her need for individualism and identity during the pregnancy. I got this creepy feeling that she was nothing but a baby making machine during that time. It made me hate him, and that made me totally sad.
Since then I’ve also been annoyed at his close-mindedness with Janice, and now his flat-out mean-ness to Clarise.
And yeah, I have to say, I don’t know who is a little vague on the locavore concept, Stuart as a character or AB as the writer. But I wonder where they live that is actually producing Kasha locally? Or Bowtie Pasta? Or that nice salad in Winter? Actually out of all the things that COULD be produced locally, salt is likely to be one of them. Since many areas have local salt flats, or can make salt from other sources if they really want to. And tons and tons of places across the country now have soybean farms since soybeans are easy to grow and often government subsidised. So getting tamari made locally is also not too difficult in soybean producing regions (including much of the midwest). Although if you are both local and organic it does narrow things a lot as well. Maybe it’s just my ignorance of east coast crops, but Stuart’s explanation of “local” seems wierd to me.
As for Clarice and Toni, it seems sad but inevitable. As a workaholic (my definition for Clarice, YMMV), of course she hasn’t really built any support structures for herself, she’s been too busy with work. So when she needs help, she has no one but Toni to turn to. And Toni, as the other side of that, is just kind of tired of carrying the emotional burden for Clarice and doesn’t have any more to give. But what does mystify me is that I have a vague memory of some strips in the last year or so where Toni and Gloria tried to have some kind of relationship together and failed miserably. So why are they pictured in domestic bliss in the last two strips? Was the relationship failure simply due to their guilt over cheating on their partners, or was it some sort of fundamental incompatibility. I can’t remember and might be way off base. Can anyone correct me and help me figure it out?
November 27th, 2007 at 9:59 pm
Some of us get more miserable than others in cold rooms. And the smugness of people who can handle low temperatures is tiresome.
Patience, your time is coming. I’m fine with 65 in the winter. It’s the no A/C in the summer that makes me want to die or get an MBA and hang out in over-air conditioned office buildings. At which point the smugness gradient reverses.
November 27th, 2007 at 10:58 pm
Hmm, Stewart’s implied criticism of Clarice’s not putting family first - and the placing of that suggests maybe even a veiled accusation that this caused the breakup - is a tad ironical considering Sparrow’s working late… again.
Stuart’s chosen family first… it seems like the family in question has different ideas, however!
November 27th, 2007 at 11:08 pm
Sigh. It looks like Hi Flagston has gone back to the number one position on my list of most esteemed comic-strip dads.
November 27th, 2007 at 11:23 pm
Um… I don’t think anyone else here has said this yet. But here’s what I see down the pike. You have Clarice, a divorcee who’s driven by culture and professional aspirations, living in the house with ‘put my family first (and make all their decisions for them)’ Stuart, who is married-with-child to Sparrow, who’s driven by society and global aspirations and ever more distant from the ‘family’ Stuart put ‘first.’
My only question is whether Stuart will somehow keep the house (where would he get the money?) or if Sparrow and Clarice will.
November 27th, 2007 at 11:33 pm
Clarice and Sparrow…hmm. Housemates–yes. Couple–hmm. kinda a stretch. Even if that’s not what you meant.
November 27th, 2007 at 11:57 pm
Is Stuart the Yellow Kid grown up? They’re both bald and they both own multiple-message shirts.
November 28th, 2007 at 12:27 am
Doleful!
November 28th, 2007 at 12:28 am
I read once (*once*, and never saw it anywhere else, tho lo these long years I have looked) that women have tighter control over their core body temp than men. If a man’s core body temp goes down by half a degree, well, it goes down by half a degree. But if a woman’s core temp drops by half a degree, the body pulls blood from the extremities to the core to keep the temp stable… because there might be a fetus in there. (You’d think the circuitry to actually *check* would be cheap and easy to install, but apparently not…) This makes hands and feet cold and overall generally miserable.
What I take from this:
1) Men are in fact reptiles.
2) When I’m freezing and the men are walking around like it’s no problem, I can think to myself that women’s superiour core body temp just might explain why women live longer than me. This lets me say to myself, “I might be miserable, but you’re going to die eight years earlier!”
November 28th, 2007 at 12:37 am
Ouch.
November 28th, 2007 at 12:38 am
In partial defense of Stuart, I have to wonder who exactly he was talking about with that “put my family first” line. Was he actually claiming that this was Clarice’s fault, or was he trying to sympathize with her by suggesting that it was Toni’s fault for having the affair rather than putting her family first and abstaining? In the best of times I wouldn’t care if Stuart fell down a manhole, but even for someone so socially oblivious I have to wonder if that barb was directed towards someone who could easily fork him to death while he slept.
As to the look on Toni’s face, well — she’s the single mother of a teen who deliberately attempted to destroy her life and who has been venturing into drug culture. Having her look a bit tired and fed up shouldn’t be surprising. Add on to that having her ex-spouse unexpectedly call to whine at her during the dinner hour, and I can understand her attitude. Clarice was the one who was saying that she couldn’t live with Toni if Toni insisted on making dates with Gloria, and then promptly moved out — why should Clarice’s adjustment period have to disturb her creating a new life on her own? Shouldn’t that call have gone to a third party, or involved voicemail to their therapist?
I notice that this is the happiest that I’ve seen either Raffi or Stella in a very, very long time. Frankly, I think that Clarice might be incapable of making her own family happy, and thus her moving out was the best thing for them. I wonder if Raffi’s acting out will continue if Toni and Gloria become a serious item, or if instead having Stella as a step-sister will be the balancing influence he needs?
And to Anonymous, who mentioned “Stuart, who is married-with-child” - wait, did I miss something? Did Stuart and Sparrow actually marry after her mother let fly about the inheritance?
November 28th, 2007 at 12:46 am
I think Stuart is the stereotypical married man. (Yes, I know they’re not technically married.) During the courtship he was all sweetness and diffidence. Now that he thinks he’s established, he has become totally self-centered. It’s not any worse than the more typical flowers and chocolates before, beer and football after type guy, but it’s more disappointing. You’d hope Stuart’s principles would extend to some awareness of his own treatment of women. Unfortunately a lot of feminist men seem to have trouble with that.
Stuart really ought to stop and think about how vulnerable he would be if Sparrow dumped him. He could start with feminist analysis of the dangers of financial dependence.
Sir Real, completely agree about the sleeves. It is so sadly typical of Clarice to whine about the cold but not put on a sweater. It could be good for her that nobody’s taking care of her. Could make her pull herself together.
When is JR going to get fed up with that ridiculous hair style, and those silly elastics with the marbles? It’s sort of like the hippy version of a father who makes you wear a barrette all the time…
November 28th, 2007 at 1:30 am
Wow…no one mentioned that Stuart is cooking dinner and inquiring if Clarice is okay with her room and if she got connected to the lifeblood (wifi). Doesn’t this count as nurturing behavior at all?
November 28th, 2007 at 1:32 am
I like how this points out what happens when lesbian men become more lesbian than lesbians.
November 28th, 2007 at 1:33 am
Wow tylik, west to east, the opposite of me. I went from Cleveland to California. One thing I noticed is that homes in warmer climates are just so poorly insulated, if you heated them the way Clevelanders do in the winter you would go broke.
Echoing what someone else said, somehow if it is colder outside, say 25, 65 feels colder inside, than if it is 60 outside. Don’t know why.
November 28th, 2007 at 1:40 am
Byrdie,
Thanks for raising those very good points. I think Stuart, in his mind, was trying to be the hearty hail-friend-well-met-you’ll-be-comfy-in-no-time - but the strip turns on Clarice putting the worst possible spin on everything.
OTOH I recently reprogrammed our thermostat to go up to 68 (horrors) at 6:30 every morning and again when we get home from work. And something tells me local sources of salt and soy sauce could be ferreted out … but will Clarice want to take the time?
November 28th, 2007 at 2:02 am
no salt for the sake of eating only local? that is quite extreme (or am i just the ignorant european?).
i also wondered how lois deals with all the restrictions stuart has introduced; i do remember that she seemed less than happy about how things went in the little commune when she told clarice that they had a room for her.
love it how this episode centers on folks who have been on the margins of storytelling - must be due to the return to a two week-rhythm. thank you so much! (and poor clarice …)
November 28th, 2007 at 2:13 am
JenK–Thanks for coming to Stu’s defense. I find him a sympathetic character,and didn’t see his remarks to Clarice as being insensitive.
Re: temperatures,many officemates and household members argue about wear the thermostat should be. I think compromise is in order,and it’s high time for a collective household meeting to iron our these probs. It helps that they have long-standing friendships.
I could tell some horror stories worse than this from my days of collective living in the 70s,but I’ll restrain myself.
November 28th, 2007 at 2:14 am
Clarice, you can stay with me. You’ll be much happier, and warmer, and there’s coffee and salt and WiFi, and local Chinese and pizza delivery. Real pizza, from a pizza joint run by Greeks.
None of that Domino’s stuff.
Yes, I’m a straight white male. No, I’m not at ALL like Stuart.
November 28th, 2007 at 2:15 am
Oops,that should be where,not wear,and out,not our,in the second paragraph.
November 28th, 2007 at 3:27 am
Dear WASP coming out,
Having loved the name Jiao Raizel since first reading it, allow me to help. Jiao officially has a “tone”, but since that’s impossible to communicate, we’ll go just for pronunciation: j?-’au(with a dot over the u I can’t find the symbol for in html) For a link to the auditory pronunciation, try . (The recording is a slow version, when sped up, the sounds run together beautifully.) As for Raizel, start saying raisin, but when you hit the hard “s” sound, finish the word with an unvoiced “l” in the back of your throat. I hope that helps
And Kaitlin Duck Sherwood,
Men ARE reptiles and the world is cold for those of us with natural inclinations towards the tropics! (I just came back from South East Asia where I was blissfull, much to the confusion of my hosts who expected “the silly ang moh (white person)” to melt.) I’ve taken to making business suits out of fleece for myself and my female friends. Pics available upon request - suits available if you’re extremely nice to me.
November 28th, 2007 at 3:28 am
oops, the link to the pronunciation of Jiao seems not to have worked -
trying again http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/jiao
November 28th, 2007 at 4:28 am
@Kaitlin Duck Sherwood: Yes. Reptiles. You just noticed?
My bet is that Stuart makes kasha varnishkes with vegetable, not chicken, stock, and leaves out the egg.
November 28th, 2007 at 5:54 am
Of course the point of eating local is that so much energy gets wasted in moving things, which is certainly no reason to skip salt, as the amount you eat is so negligible. Coffee is harder. I buy “local” coffee, but it only means locally roasted.
I actually don’t feel that Stuart behaves like a standard married man. He behaves, unfortunately, like too many stay-at-home moms, just as Clarice behaves as too many workaholic fathers (and me). I can assure you that the facial expression and the “I’ve never regretted making my family my top priority” totally remind me of one of my daughter’s friend’s SAH-mother.
November 28th, 2007 at 8:48 am
I wonder if Clarice is enough up on history to tell Stuart that denying people salt is what the British did in India, and was the center of some of Mohandas Gandhi’s organizing. Or what he’d say, if accused of being the oppressor to her Mahatma.
November 28th, 2007 at 9:19 am
We are keeping our heat between 60 and 65 this winter, not because we like it that cold, but because we can’t afford to keep it any higher. Yay, the economy.
On Stuart - I”ve had people say really insensitive things about all manner of stuff, the one that irritates me most is when they start bragging about how their good health habits will keep them from ever developing the malady you’ve just told them you have. I don’t think it is meant to be insensitive - I think it is more that they fear the same fate befalling them and the first urge is to start explaining how one is immune. Stuart may be reassuring himself more of the stability of his own marriage, and seems oblivious to the effect his own words have on Clarice.
November 28th, 2007 at 10:01 am
Although I feel bad for Clarice, eating terrible food in a cold house with a crazy man at the controls …
I want to ask everyone to visit this site: http://www.prettybirdwomanhouse.blogspot.com/
It’s a battered women’s shelter on the Standing Rock Reservation in South Dakota. Recently, their shelter was burned to the ground by men who broke in to steal computers and televisions.
Now they’re trying to buy an available house situated across the street from a police station (which is about as safe as you can get). And they need money to do it.
If you can’t give money, many credit cards allow you to donate points to a charity.
I usually never ask people to give to a charity, but this is just heartbreaking. So I hope a few of you will pass this along to other interested parties.
November 28th, 2007 at 10:17 am
And speaking of the heat …
I once wintered in western Massachusetts in an unheated attic after my arranged housing fell through at the last minute. Ambient temperature about 55 degrees.
I can’t imagine 64 is any better.
Is it possible Stewart has had a stroke from all the spinning and is now insane? And no coffee? Has he issued an edict on tampons and maxipads yet?
November 28th, 2007 at 10:34 am
“I’m sorry you broke up with your lover of over twenty years and left the kid you’ve helped raise when you moved out of the house you’ve lived in for ten years. Y’know, I’ve never regretted making family my top priority.” How can that NOT count as insensitive? Of course Stuart isn’t trying to be cruel. He’s just completely self-absorbed.
In the context of this strip, “come [straight] out” is a cleverly twisted phrase. (Clever of Alison, not Stuart.) If Stuart is going to suspend the house constitution, he needs to come straight out and say so. As it is, his constituents seem to be voting with their feet.
Stuart exemplifies the trend on both (all?) sides of the contemporary American political spectrum of conflating displays of personal virtue with meaningful political action. Refusing to eat soy sauce does not support local agriculture. If he’s in the midwest, among soybean farmers, it could possibly have the opposite effect (infinitesimal, of course).
November 28th, 2007 at 10:39 am
Something tells me that Sparrow makes a stop by Starbucks for a large somethingorother on her way to work.
And I have to chuckle at the heat conversation. We just had central heat/air put into our old house (to replace electric baseboards - gah!) and our wonderful contractor (who is a perfectionist who keeps fine tuning a system that I think is fine) keeps getting genuinely puzzled to come over and find me waiting for him in a house that’s 64, and with thermostats programmed only to 66 at their highest (60 and night ane while we’re at work, though we do turn it up from there if we’re too cold). You can tell that he honestly can’t conceptualize anyone wanting to have the temp at anything less than 72.
I want to send Clarice a care package of her own coffeemaker, some fair-trade coffee, a big thing of sea-salt, a thick down comforter, and some shearling slippers.
November 28th, 2007 at 11:12 am
Hey, I didn’t have time to read everybody so I hope I’m not just repeating what everyone’s been saying.
Poor Clarice. Of course I have unstoppable radiators that keep my house way too hot all winter long. But if I even go to someone house where it’s 70 or less, I feel so miserable.
Two: I think JR should be at that stage where she says Fwosted Fwoot Bats. I heard it that way in my head.
Thanks for another great episode, Allison. Don’t forget Angus and the bloaters!
November 28th, 2007 at 11:17 am
I kind of what Sparrow to barf in Stewart’s lap. (It seems like Sparrow hasn’t been central to any storylines since she gave birth. Party foul.)
“The path of least resistance for Clarice would be to spend evenings with Sydney, watching HDTV and drinking single malt.” –hilarious–
Tales of cold rooms in winter remind me of a couple years ago when we moved into our first house, broke, and we didn’t turn the heat on hardly ever (in Seattle though, not New England). It’s hard!! Warm showers and baking sure felt good.
November 28th, 2007 at 11:18 am
I grew up in and live in Canada and despite frigid temps outside the coldest winters aren’t usually too bad given the efficient (but could be better) housing. In fact, the coldest winter I ever spent was in Ireland where the day time highs were usually around 5 deg C (42F) and the inside temps not much better: 10C (52F) and DAMP that seeps in everywhere. Come in to the house cold and wet and never expect to dry off & warm up even with a fire. Single-glazed windows with no/poor seals, no central heat (crummy radiators) & no insulation; we could’ve had a corner on the peat market and fire blazing all day and never be warm. Of course, posher houses weren’t too bad. I usually slept in long underwear, wool sweater, sleeping bag, quilt, toque, mitts and socks & with a hot water bottle. I’ll never complain about N.American cold again (yes, my fingers are crossed…).
November 28th, 2007 at 11:24 am
JR’s hairdo is EXACTLY like my four-year-old daughter’s. And like mine when she has enough hair-ties….Love the spoon-hanging in the panel with Toni. I so admire the way you draw children!
November 28th, 2007 at 11:38 am
If Clarice stays, and I expect she won’t, she should lay in her own supply of Tabasco Sauce. The troops use them to make the less popular menus of MRE’s palateable.
November 28th, 2007 at 11:42 am
Yeah, yeah, Stu’s being insensitive. But what character here hasn’t been? They all have flaws, and that’s cool. Insentivity station? Mo, Clarice, Sydney…
I still love Stuart. And maybe he’s not being insensitive, maybe he’s angry. It seems to be he’d identify with Toni here. His values (family and home first, career second) are the the ones that Clarice has devalued all this time, and now she’s suffering as a result, and maybe that just pisses him off enough that he can’t offer unmixed hospitality. Hasn’t that ever happened to you? You want to be welcoming, and for the most part you can be, but those little comments sneak out…
Rock on Stuart. You’re all right.
November 28th, 2007 at 11:48 am
Since I live in a house where we keep the thermostat at 52 so our second floor is a more livable (and sleepable) 64, I can’t really bitch about Stuart’s thermostat setting.
But OMG Stuart is a horrible, self-centered, insensitive asshole. The only reason I can think of for Sparrow to stay with him is because he’s free (monetarily, not emotionally) childcare and because she doesn’t have the time to break up with him.
Possible solution:
Mo boots Sydney
Clarice moves in with Mo
Sydney moves in with Sparrow, Lois, and Stuart
Sparrow, fueled by Sydney’s ample sarcasm, boots Stuart
Stuart lives in street, on whatever he can make as a bicycle courier, where he can be superior at everyone in the world
Sparrow, Lois, and Sydney turn up the thermostat, drink hot coffee, and use Sydney’s vast entertainment system
November 28th, 2007 at 11:54 am
Jen - Seattle was hit by a severe windstorm last year. Trees down everywhere, taking down power lines with it. We were without power for 5 days; the only good part was that our nightly lows were in the 30F, so the house bottomed out around 40F.
But yeah, nothing like a nice bathroom at 40F. I’d run hot water into the bathtub and let it sit. After ten-fifteen minutes the bathroom would be 60F. Suddenly 60F was *MARVELOUS*. But not at *MARVELOUS* as getting power back!
November 28th, 2007 at 12:26 pm
The very best thing about not having a roomate this year is that our heat bill and electric bill are down almost by half. The thermostat is the hardest compromise to make - some of us were raised frugal, and some people feel like “I have a job, why should I have to wear socks in my own house?”
But, yeah, Stuart’s being a dipshit - most locavores eat salt and spices. Greens you shouldn’t have to import, though - we’ve got live parsley, beets, and kale even though it was 5 degrees outside yesterday.
November 28th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
Hey, don’t nobody denigrate kasha varnishkes! I love them (although eating them without salt would indeed make me shudder). Very little seems cozier to me in the winter than KV with a side of steamed chard with butter and vinegar. They’re even OK with veggie broth in place of the chicken broth–although they’re better with veggie chicken-broth substitute (my co-op has this and it’s been very helpful in recipe adaptation).
My view on the local eating–why the heck can’t Stuart at least buy some nice sea salt at the co-op (ours has several versions, including foofoo sel de gris), thereby supporting the local co-op, if not necessarily the local food producers? Isn’t that just as important?
Also–I admit I haven’t read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle and am reluctant to, because I did read the essay that apparently started the whole thing, “Lily’s Chickens,” in Small Wonder, and I found Kingsolver almost insufferably sanctimonious, although I’ve previously been a great fan and will probably continue to be such regarding her fiction (like to see her get back to it). However, I do know from book reviews that even she allowed each family member to have at least one exemption from local eating (coffee, I believe, being hers!). Can’t Stuart budge that far?
You’veGotRed–re Jiao Raizel’s dialogue, this isn’t her first, BUT, it’s actually her second about the Frosted Fruit Bats (they may have even been her first words!). I recall a strip from a couple years ago involving a supermarket tantrum in which Stuart said that JR knew six words and three of them were FFB (at that point, pronounced “Fozzy Foo Baps.”
Nina–thank you for “Jiao,” but I’m wondering about “Raizel.” Some years ago I was involved with a play in which one of the characters, who had anglicized her name to Rose, was referred to as “Raizel” by her German-Jewish sister. That actor (who did have a dialect coach) pronounced it “Hry-zl” (sort of a gutteral, aspirated R), and that’s how I’ve been pronouncing JR’s name in my head. Am I totally off base?
November 28th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
Oh! Poor Clarice!
November 28th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
I used to feel bad for Clarice, and hoped they’d get back together but now I feel like saying, “I hope you’re happy with the path you’ve chosen!” and thumbing my nose at her…..But some of annoyance at Clarice might stem from my own personal drama (just found out my partner of 8 years has been flirting with some girl on facebook)…..
November 28th, 2007 at 1:03 pm
Sorry–I forgot to add my name to the last post!
November 28th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
Yiddish has multiple dialects and varying pronouciations…as in the continuing argument about how to say “kugel” (noodle pudding)…keh-gill, koo-ghol, kuh-ghol… I don’t think there’s a definitive answer.
If you wanted to be really polite you could ask Jiao’s parents how they pronounce it. In my family we say KUH-ghol and we’d say RAY-szl (the way Nina explained it).
I have some friends who ate local because they were macrobiotic. But if you’re concerned about eating local for reasons of conservation…and you buy salt, coffee and soy sauce at certain times of the year…couldn’t you just buy more and stock up? Wouldn’t that have the same environmental impact?
Did you see the story about the family who was trying to live low impact for a year? They had a box of worms in their kitchen to eat their compost? That was inspiring.
November 28th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
Hm. As a member of a collective household for the past several years, I think I’m noticing one thing about what Stuart’s doing here. Namely: in an established household, there are lots of compromises. One person wants to be local-grown vegan, one person is damned if she’s going to give up McDonald’s cheeseburgers, one person doesn’t care either way but would really appreciate it if there’s some food on the table when she gets home from work, and one person wants Frosted Fruit Bats. And everyone argues about this, pretty much constantly, and you eventually come to a solution everyone likes, or at least one that everyone can live with.
But when you bring a new person in, everyone suddenly sees that person as someone they could bring in on their side of the argument. I’d be willing to bet that it’s only because Stuart is the only one home that he can so blithely talk about how “we” do things this way. If it were just Clarice and Lois, I bet Lois would be saying that “we” do things very differently (although being Lois, she might be more upfront about the disagreements between her and the other housemates– Stuart’s always been more fanatically enthusiastic).
I’m hoping Clarice sticks it out long enough to put her foot down, and start pointing out that she is a housemate, not a guest, so she has rights too– to help make decisions, not just “get used to” what someone else decides. Cuz collective housing is awesome when it really is collective, and I could see Lois feeling pretty shoved to the side by the heteronormativity of it all lately. I’ve always found the Lois/Sparrow/Etc. household pretty inspirational, and glad that it’s hung on, despite all the changes everyone’s been through. Go communes!
November 28th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
Eating local does seem sometimes to become a euphemism for food fascism.
I had a roommate who violently insisted that we couldn’t use the central heat, no matter how cold it got (to be absolutely fair, this was in Santa Cruz) and unlike Stuart I stopped wearing my Utilikilt at home, ’cause I was freezing. Notice his leggings/long underwear/whatever, Stuart is cold, but his self-righteousness is keeping him toasty….I hope Clarice finds comfort, hopefully with Toni….Dammit! I wish I was ‘fousands of miles away’ eating ‘Frosted Fruit Bats,’ too!
November 28th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
I think Gaudior’s right, and I also think that Stuart’s doing what he’s doing because he doesn’t have anywhere else to establish a power base. Sparrow has her job and as Executive Director, she’s very much in power. I’m not even sure that power matters that much to Lois, but at the very least she has her job and a relationship outside of the household to diversify her interests and participation in community. Since Stuart no longer has a job, the house is his power structure and he’s assuming authority because he can. Being the more active parent also contributes to that because he has to establish himself as authority figure for JR–I think he’s just extending his parental authority to the rest of his household, in spite of the fact that they’re adults and don’t need a parent!
I think he should go back to work, even if it’s part-time. Or at least get really involved in local politics rather than blogging and boycotting within his own home.
November 28th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
Re: Men are reptiles
No, no—if men were reptiles, they couldn’t cope with cold weather; that’s why there’s snakes in Arizona, and not Minnesota. Women, apparently, are reptiles, men are mammals. This is, uh, why men have hair. And women lay eggs. Or something.
November 28th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
Come to think of it Sparrow and Lois and Ginger went through a similar thing before with Milkweed. Saying they couldn’t use their lightbulbs and sneering at what they were eating, etc. Basically, as self-righteous as one may feel about how they eat or live, gently trying to introduce your housemates to it, and influence their decisions by talking about it, is going to be more effective than trying to impose your values on them. With the caveate that I’m lucky if I can feed myself at all, so sometimes it has to be McDonald’s. There’s one across the street.
November 28th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
Ooops, caveat. Hm. Put ate on there. Maybe I’m hungry?
November 28th, 2007 at 2:54 pm
Fuzzy Bastard, yer hilarious! Love that post.
Suz- yeah, I live somewhere where the cold spot of the winter has highs below freezing. I think that counts. If cultures can have cuisines, which are really food and spice habits, why not comfort level habits? Yeah, I’m more diversified in my eating as an adult than just what I was fed growing up, but how many people consider mulled wine a holiday basic? How long do these habits take to wear down to nothing in the child-rearing heritage? I really just don’t know.
I like the idea somebody posted about Stuart secretly being worried about Sparrow’s being at work all the time. That makes sense to me.
Yeah to the person who knew about the salt tax in India. It was inforced with a massive hedge around a large swath of India. There’s a book out on it now, The Great Hedge of India. Pretty weird piece o history!
Have a great Wednesday!
November 28th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
I think Stuart is using the house as a lab for his political leanings. Lois is already checked out. She has her own little family to spend time with. Sparrow is checked out. She’s at work all the time. So Stuart is alone to do whatever tickles his fancy. Clarice has to negotiate her terms with him. Or, she might just go back to work like Sparrow is doing.
As for Sydney potentially moving, I suspect she has the income to go live by herself if things don’t work with Mo. Mo has been in that apartment for so long, that I think rent control (assuming the fictitious town of Bechdelville has it) would be to her advantage.
Of course, JR might knock some sense into her daddy. That’d be very deliciously funny. “Fwuitbats NOW, or I go on a hunger stwike! I am being opwessed by the MAN!”
November 28th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
The paralel threads of invective against Stuart and evidence that men are reptiles (i.e. cold-blooded) is beginning to make me nervous.
I think Stuart is, and has been, acting in many ways like a (stero)typical stay-at-home-parent. Except, unlike Toni, the other stay-at-home-parent we’ve seen, he isn’t complaining about it: he seems happy with his role, if a little self-righteous. But sometimes SAHP’s get isolated. They over-parent (i.e., folks who aren’t their kids). They start to feel, and act, as if the home is their sphere completely and exclusively (after all, they spend all day every day there). It doesn’t have anything to do with his gender. But instead of seeing him as typical (as we might a stay-at-home-mom), instead of gently laughing or pitying him, this forum has impugned his morals, motives and personality and suggested he be dumped and kicked out of the house.
Do we have any evidence he’s a bad dad? I mean, parents can be annoying or overprotective, but is he harming his child? And is there any evidence that his housemates (and partner) are really unhappy with him–and not just the usual annoyance that comes, sometimes, with co-habiting with other human beings, even ones we love? Would it have been suggested that he was being a whiner, food fascist, and should be ejected from the house if he were female? I think some comments here have smacked of sexism, and the “men are reptiles” bit doesn’t help.
I’ve mentioned some negatives: Stuart’s isolated, he’s rigid, and his comments to Clarice were, at best, ill-chosen. But he’s also loyal, welcoming, committed, community-minded, and principled. Not to mention, though we don’t see it here, he has a good sense of humor. And incredibly graceful and comfortable in a role in which most men would squirm, and which society laughs at and scorns. Give the guy(s) a break.
November 28th, 2007 at 4:20 pm
When the trio (Lois, Ginger, Sparrow) bought the house (many, many years ago), I was under the impression that payments and ownership were divided equally. I was also under the impression that Stuart was a renter with the trio as landlords. If this is true, couldn’t Lois and Clarice join together and insist on better and warmer house rules….
I never liked Stuart and still want Sparrow to toss him out on his kilt-covered butt! Down with Stuart!
November 28th, 2007 at 4:27 pm
Maggie, K. and byrdie: Those are the two most compelling explanations for Stuart’s behavior I’ve heard so far.
Stuart needs to punch a guy who is threatening to his family or housemates right about now. It would do a lot to remind us why he’s even here. Or maybe Liz Farkas-McLaughlin. Whichever.
JenK, I’ve always taken it for granted that the action unfolds in Northampton, Massachusetts, but I could be wrong. (I went to U-Mass, so it’s easy to recognize this small, cosmopolitan, lesbian-redolent city as Noho in a way that I couldn’t as, say, South Bend, because I’ve never been there.)
Vicki: I think Stuart would suddenly become deathly quiet and start staring at the wall for hours on end. Initially, the rest of the house would enjoy the qyuiet, but after a while, it would start to get…SCARY…
Alex: Damn, that really makes me mad. Someone call in The Equalizer.
TFB: LOL
I think that’s everything.
Ray
November 28th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
Ouch… hang in there, Riotllama… hope it starts going better for you soon.
November 28th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
The term “stay-at-home-mom” or “stay-at-home-parent” cracks me up because it seems this parent is the one to spend his or her life outside the house, buying food and clothes, getting the kids to school, the dog to the vet, the car to mechanic, etc. etc.
Why is Stuart being so over-the-top? In a twice monthly strip with over 30 regular or semi-regular characters, it is tough to nuance each player. While I love Gaudior’s take on why Stuart is playing to his sterotypical ends here (and it makes sense), I also believe there are limitations to how much a cartoonist/writer can do in the time and space she has.
November 28th, 2007 at 5:42 pm
Sparrow & Ginger bought the house. Stuart and Lois are renters (Lois because she defaulted on her student loans, and her credit wasn’t good enough for a mortgage). I don’t know what the situation is now that Ginger is no longer a house-mate.
Bechdel has said that although the city the dykes-and-sundries live in resembles NoHo/JP/Oakland/Madison/Twin Cities, etc. it’s none of those–an imaginary pastiche.
Ellen–you’re right on both counts. I do think in part Stuart (the character, as a device) is playing the stereotypical part to set up the interaction between Clarice and Toni, which is the strip’s emotional moment.
November 28th, 2007 at 6:05 pm
I love all of your episodes. I am amazed at your ability to maintain their personalities. I know how Clarice feels. I almost became her, and then I remembered why I love my family.
When is the next book Bechdel?
November 28th, 2007 at 6:12 pm
Oh C’mon, Stuart’s not perfect, far from it, but so are the other characters! Is it just me and my rather un sentimental attitude toward kids or is Jaio a little brat, sort of going the way of Isabel?
November 28th, 2007 at 6:20 pm
I don’t see Lois putting up with house conditions as depicted in this script. It has been suggested that she’s spending most of her time with Jasmine, but that doesn’t explain why whe’d invite Clarice into such an unpleasant environment. Perhaps she’s looking for an ally?
It’s a measure of our regard for Alison that we’re all dissecting the strip to this extent. No one is assuming that anything is just the result of sloppy writing. We all take it as a given that Alison has thought it all through, and has a plan. Go Alison!
November 28th, 2007 at 6:20 pm
I really hope Clarice makes her way back home. Toni, just get over that Gloria chick already. I love how thru the years Alison has made Toni the one who waves the Marriage banner, while Clarice seemed a little skittish about commitment. Now we see true colors! I’m in a very long term relationship, and I always root for them. I hope those two survive! Forgot to include it in my comment above about Stuart, but is it just me or is Stuart really eccentric! He could be a riot as a character if he is allowed to grow old in this strip!
November 28th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
JenInCalifornia, since I don’t think anyone’s addressed your questions about Toni and Gloria’s relationship issues, I’m jumping in on that one. I don’t think their relationship “failed miserably” but it hit some snags largely due to external influences, rather than guilt or incompatibility.
First there was the issue with Raffi sending the video of Clarice and Toni arguing about Toni’s infidelity with Gloria to the Freedom to Marry mailing list. That made both Toni and Gloria persona non grata with Freedom to Marry (and subject to nasty attacks from Liz McLaughlin-Farkas) because they were seen as detrimental to the cause (i.e., demonstrating that gay people can’t keep it in their pants, so why should they be allowed to get married anyway if they’re just going to cheat). That pretty much put the nail in the coffin on both Ana and Gloria’s and Clarice and Toni’s relationships (both already on the skids) and most likely caused some trauma to Toni and Gloria’s developing relationship. Understandable.
Then they ran into problems because Toni and Clarice had decided to stay in the house together even though they were splitting up personally; Clarice said expressly that she couldn’t do that if Toni was going to date (anyone, I think, not just Gloria). I think Toni basically blew her off on that (rightfully so) and went ahead with dating Gloria (they went to the movies, Gloria and Stella came over for leaf-raking, etc.); even so, that’s going to put a crimp in a blossoming relationship. Clarice finally moved out because she couldn’t stand seeing them together–but I think she should have anyway, because if she wasn’t going to be with Toni romantically she had no right to dictate who Toni could and couldn’t see. She may have realized that subconsciously, even if she thought she was moving out just to spare herself some pain.
I don’t know if I’d describe what’s going on between Toni and Gloria as “domestic bliss” necessarily–more as building a gradual connection. They’re happy but it has to be kind of a low-key and cautious happy, because they’re both still dealing with the repercussions of divorce and all its attendant life changes. Having Raffi and Stella and their longtime friendship helps (and I think that definitely helps the kids too).
Incidentally, I’ve wondered about the legal ramifications of Toni and Clarice’s split, because we haven’t seen anything legal other than the changing of the wills. I’m assuming that Clarice is paying child support for Raffi (I strongly expect she’d do so ethically even if she wasn’t made to do so legally, because she is the higher earner, Toni is the primary parent–especially with Raffi staying in the house–and she’d recognize the need to chip in). Child support *might* be enough to allow Toni to meet the mortgage even if she’s not getting any kind of alimony (and Toni would be able to figure out any money-saving strategies), and Clarice may have been able to afford that, especially if her rent in the group house isn’t too high. I don’t know, it just seemed a little weird to me to have the financial reason for the two of them staying in the house be so prominent and then have Clarice decide to leave. Do folks think it was really just rationalization on Toni and Clarice’s part because the actual, physical split was too difficult–the final statement that the relationship was really, really over–rather than actual financial strain? I tend to lean that way.
November 28th, 2007 at 6:31 pm
“For me it’s 74. No lower than that.”
Oh K.B., then c’mon over to my condo! They keep the heat on in this building Cranked to 80! I live in MA. and I go outside and I’m shocked about how cold it is. (Not that I should be, it IS November!)
I love Kasha Varnishkas! Best Kasha was at 2nd Ave Deli in NYC, but it closed!! But hey, Kasha, it needs salt! Besides, salt is not exactly something that is hard to store in the winter to eat locally, at least that’s what i seem to remember historically before modern times…!
No Coffee…..now that’s just crazy talk!
November 28th, 2007 at 6:37 pm
Wow, I like Anonymous’ Sparrow + Clarice — maybe when the meet up at a campaign / lobbying function in a hotel together.
I can’t believe all the people who are calling the one person making a political difference a “sell out”. (Well, one of three if you count Toni & Gloria’s grass roots work, or there’s also Harriet last I knew.) I doubt she’s making significant money, just more than running a shelter, and I’m sure she would be making a difference!
November 28th, 2007 at 6:38 pm
‘I don’t see Lois putting up with house conditions as depicted in this script. It has been suggested that she’s spending most of her time with Jasmine, but that doesn’t explain why whe’d invite Clarice into such an unpleasant environment. Perhaps she’s looking for an ally?’
You know, I do see Lois putting up with it. She may not like it too much, but I always saw her as kind of laid back. She WAS Mo’s buddy for ever, after all. You have to be laid back to deal with her.She does seem to get along with Stuart, too, which is a testament to her easy going nature. With Clarice in the house, things would be more equitable for Lois. Right now, it’s like she’s in the middle of this family, like a stray Aunt or something, its got to be a weird dynamic.
November 28th, 2007 at 6:47 pm
K, JenK, I know, I know.
It’s just my own private intellectual conceit that anchors the strip in the Twin Cities, since I lived in St. Paul and worked in inner-South Minneapolis in the late 80’s and early 90’s, when Alison was living and working there. Some of the background artwork and scenes in “Spawn of DTWOF”, in particular, look *very* familiar, even if never specifically identified. I swear I recognize some of the buildings that Mo is biking past on her way home from Raffi’s delivery. They look a lot like the street fronts on South Franklin at the time. Allow me my illusions, gosh darn it !! (grin)
November 28th, 2007 at 6:56 pm
Yeah, K’s right. There’s no reason to kick Stuart out. He’s been a great dad for Jiao and Sparrow certainly hasn’t felt a need to dump him (as far as we know). He’s being assy, but so has everyone else at one point or another.
November 28th, 2007 at 7:13 pm
I thought they lived in San Fransisco because they went to city hall in march 04 when the city was doing gay marriages.
http://www.planetout.com/entertainment/comics/dtwof/archive/436.html
November 28th, 2007 at 7:19 pm
I remember the changing names on the side of the fishing boat in “Pogo”, which predates “Mad” by about 4 years.
November 28th, 2007 at 7:50 pm
Hey all you Stuarthaters- I’m a Stuatlover, in all this kilted liberal stayathomedadness. Okay, on the whole Sparrow doesn’t like him or something; Sparrow, of all people should feel comfortable making her own relationship choices if anyone should, working for shelters and NARAL and such! Yeah, she got annoyed when everyone wanted a baby so much, but as soon as Mo affirmed her ambivialance about making such a huge commitment, she strolled right over to the pregnancy books. Has it occured to anyone that Sparrow and Stuart love each other? That maybe they even have great sex? He must be a little special to have won the heart of a lesbian. Everyone talks about Toni and Clarice’s relationship, and beleive me, I’m mourning with you, but they arn’t the ONLY parenting couple in the strip. I think Jaio Raizel (cont)
November 28th, 2007 at 7:50 pm
Wow.
Reeeeely want to feel sorry for Clarice but hey, she did foresee this right? I think a few unfamiliar inconveniences are getting blown up because she’s depressed re: Toni. I wish I didn’t know what that feels like. Chin up dollface.
Fuzzy bastard you are one hilarious mammal dude. How could I have been so blind? Of course I am reptile! Parthenogenetic lizard woman!
CatPimp: can’t wait for the Children’s Crusade. “Ceweal fowever! Buckwheat never!”
K, you are voice of reason, thanks for reigning it in. Yes this is kind of a lowpoint in my appreciation of Stuart, but he’s not a deadbeat! He’s doing a pretty thankless (speaking from experience) job, and getting a bit territorial - so sue him. To me he sounds like the voice of Clarice’s conscience, you know the little angel/devil sitting on her shoulder?
martinet: “gradual connection”? Didn’t T & G smooch in like, 1994 or something? And didn’t Toni get caught with G’s underwear years ago? I reckon they are waaaaaay into the connection thing.
And before I forget, thanks AB for clearing up the “where does Jasmine live?” question! Nice exposition!
November 28th, 2007 at 7:56 pm
Martinet, Thanks for the reminder on some of the history, believe it or not, I had forgotten about the video debacle leading to awkwarkness between Toni and Gloria. I just remembered there was awkwardness in there somewhere.
It’s not really domestic bliss, you’re right. It’s just seems strange because I see them together, but I don’t get any read on their feelings. Maybe everyone’s just a little overwhelmed right now, which probably rings true, considering the situation.
In reading everyone’s comments on Stuart, I’m rethinking my previous harshness, bourne not out of anger at whole race of “reptilian” males but out of disappointment. I still feel like he’s gotten more controlling and insensitive since the pregnancy, it’s not just a new thing. But some of the rationales provided by Maggie, Byrdie and Ellen are pretty interesting. I guess it’s pretty superficial of me to say that he’s suddenly changed so I don’t like him. It’s a more reasonable assumption to say that he’s got something going on emotionally and he’s freakin’ out a little. He’s still being an insensitive bimbo right now, but at least there might be some underlying cause. Meaning, hope springing eternal, he might come round in some way.
I love that Mulieribus remembered Milkwood, the persistant house-guest/cultural investigator ! If memory serves, Sparrow eventually caught on to Milkwoods hypocrisy and self-righteousness and booted her butt to the curb. While I definitely don’t want to see Stuart get booted, it might be a good thing for all concerned if Sparrow called him on some of his crap and insisted on some sort of spiritual cleansing (Black Cohash anyone?)
Truthfully, I’m sure that I feel tons more disappointed and upset and unhappy and low-patience with Stuart’s self-absorption and controlling ways because he’s a feminist. That’s always the way. It’s always high expectations on those we trust and feel safe with. They are the ones we can’t stand to have hurt us. We’ve sadly gotten resigned to being stomped on by the rest. And I’m not bashing on Stuart cause he’s a guy, I feel the same way when Mo or Toni acts hurtful as well.
I’d like to say the same thing about Sydney, but she warned us right from the start that she was “predatory, yet alluring”. I’ve never trusted that little snake in the grass, speaking of reptiles, (smile). Poor thing.
November 28th, 2007 at 8:10 pm
is a lucky kid to have such parents- dads like Stuart arn’t exactly a dime a dozen, and many moms arn’t nearly as empowered and confidant as Sparrow, either.
Yeah, Stuart could’ve picked his words better, but for heaven’s sake, Clarice does seem to need a wake up call, and she is perfectly capable of buying her own food or eating out. She has an instant place to live,with people she’s known for years and years, which is often not the ways those things go, and as someone who’s spent many a night on nature’s thermostat, pull your head out of your tax bracket and put on a sweater.
Why does everyone dump on Stuart so much? He’s the only male character we see much of these days, and he’s practically designed to be a feminist’s dream, but does he get kudos for being progressive, nonviolent, enviormentally aware, politically active, a wonderful dad, or welcoming and helping to homeschool Janis who he supposedly can’t accept? No! Yah gotta praise people for doing something right, not just scold them for doing wrong, if you really want a better world. He doesn’t even bug Sparrow to bring another woman to bed! (Of corse, she’d probably throw him across the room. Or would she?) C’mon, people! Give the guy a break!
November 28th, 2007 at 8:17 pm
And by the way, thanks for the Jiao Raizel pronunciation! I’d been wondering about that since she was born! My son is just slightly younger than her, she being born in the winter and he in the spring, and it is so cool to watch them grow up together, as it were!
November 28th, 2007 at 8:24 pm
K, when you say: “I think some comments here [about Stuart] have smacked of sexism,” you are forgetting that men can never be the victims of sexism, but only the perpetrators and beneficiaries.
It’s back to Re-Education Camp for you!
November 28th, 2007 at 8:42 pm
If you want to “eat locally” in a place with serious winters, you need to do a lot of canning and drying and stuff in the summer and fall. But it would be just like Stuart, Sparrow and Lois to jump into something like that head first without thinking it through. And Stuart would tend to overdo it. This will only last until Lois rebels, backed by Sparrow and Clarice.
Stuart’s “put my family first” remark is probably triggered by a resentment of Sparrow not putting in as much “family time” as he would like. He probably genuinely means to cheer Clarice up, he’s just totally oblivious to her actual feelings, as he tends to be toward reality in general. Clarice should just blow up at him, he would realize what a jerk he’s been and then probably overdo it in the other direction; being overly solicitious with Clarice and with Sparrow. I think this is where Sparrow and Stuart are growing apart, she used to be as impractical as he is, but having a baby and financially supporting the family have brought her more in contact with reality.
Clarice and Toni will probably play “bad-timing” for a while. Toni will be depressed the next morning (whether she sleeps with Gloria or not) and guilty about brushing Clarice off. She will want to talk to Clarice, who will be mad and not want to talk to her. This can go on until some crisis with Rafi brings them together, at least as friends and co-parents if not lovers. I think Toni will have to have an affair with Gloria, but I don’t see it lasting, maybe because Gloria isn’t an interesting enough character, where would be the *humor* in their relationship?
Isn’t this fun, making detailed analyses of totaly fictional characters? Next installment, the different self-rightiousness os Stuart, Mo and Cynthia.
November 28th, 2007 at 8:51 pm
Toni sucks.
(Sorry not to match the usual eloquent insightful posts on this blog, but damn. That’s all I can think.)
November 28th, 2007 at 8:57 pm
I’m with Jael. Life without salt is not worth living. (Since when did she start talking in complete sentences, anyway?)
Poor Toni. Stuart is such a sanctimonious shit. The Kuchinich shirt just seals it for me. (Will someone please, PLEASE explain to me why progressives actually back that guy, considdering how he’s fucking ANTI-CHOICE?!?!?)
November 28th, 2007 at 9:14 pm
Jude, I love your plot ideas! Who wouldn’t want a crack at Sidney’s “vast entertainment system”?
Maggie—I agree regarding the Trent Lott/Benjamin Nichols “affair”—Lott is most likely one of those guys who “isn’t gay, just likes to have sex with men.” “Goat blower” was a new one for me, though—that one sent the Diet Coke shooting out of my nose…
November 28th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
Stewart reminds me of a scene I saw in a television show or a movie.
The scene, as I recall it (this is a dim, dim, memory) is of some white teenager dressed up all gangsta and urban, and a black teenager says something to him along the lines of: You dress like me with dreadlocks and all the rest and when you get tired of it, you can get your hair cut and change your clothes and go to the college your parents are going to pay for and you’ll be white and a whole bunch of opportunities will open up for you. I can’t do that; my life isn’t a game for you to play at.
I guess I’m always waiting for jump-to-this, jump-to-that Stewart to suddenly decide he’s going to go on to something other than living with his bi-dyke girlfriend (they are still not married) because at some level it’s all some sort of game to him, whether it’s selling the car after a revelation of how it’s a sarcophagus, regardless of how it inconveniences everyone else who needed that car; whether it’s homeschooling J.R. with some cobbled-together syllabus (oh, Lois, you can teach her French. Well, that solves everything.); whether it’s quitting his job because, brace for it, someone else’s kid said a swear word learned at daycare; etc.
Stewart, I’m sorry, but you’re toxic. You mean well, but you screw up left and right and I have yet to see you actually have a disaster handed to you that you caused and that you took responsibility for and that you cleaned up.
I’ve known a few Stewarts in my time, and each time I see one leaving for the last time, I breathe an enormous sigh of relief.
November 28th, 2007 at 9:48 pm
Zeitgeist, Lois is very laid back, and she’s willing to be lectured and ranted at by Mo or Stuart, but I think she’d draw the line at being told what she can and can’t eat in her own home.
Stuart says “We’re trying to eat local all winter.” but he never defined “We” and I’ve seen no indication that anyone else has agreed to this. Jiao certainly hasn’t!
November 28th, 2007 at 9:50 pm
i make mushroom gravy to go on my kasha varnishkes. yum.
and i like stewart just the way he is; imperfect, sexist, and wearin’ a kilt.
November 28th, 2007 at 10:22 pm
I was the Anonymous that suggested Clarice + Sparrow. I totally just forgot to put something in the box. :p There, I put something in the box!
Byrdie: No, they didn’t get married-married, but they’re ‘married’ in the sense of shared finances and family, so far as I can tell. The way my peers used to use the term for someone unavailable.
I don’t actually feel like Clarice and Sparrow are such a stretch. A few years and a few collections ago, sure. But they’ve both changed - they’ve basically become modern professionals. They key in to the concept of mutual respect. They’re pessimists to some degree, although Sparrow is very good at the hope-and-work-for-better thing. They might be too alike, but I doubt it.
November 28th, 2007 at 11:07 pm
Jeffster, you’re kidding, right?
November 28th, 2007 at 11:16 pm
April: “Didn’t T & G smooch in like, 1994 or something? And didn’t Toni get caught with G’s underwear years ago? I reckon they are waaaaaay into the connection thing.”
Yeah, they did, but I think there’s a big difference between illicit smooching etc. and actually moving into a publicly acknowledged relationship. There’s got to be some transition, and at this point they’re transitional. That has to be the case not just for them but for the kids, who are going to have to get used to the idea of their moms together (and possibly a change in their own relationship if T&G get serious and they become step-siblings).
I think the fact that a whole lot of emotional stuff between T&G hasn’t been shown is partially because *they* wouldn’t actually be showing too much of it at this point–out of caution for themselves as their relationship changes (and has permission to change)–out of respect for the kids, and possibly even so they don’t rub salt in the wounds of their exes (well, at least so Toni doesn’t; I don’t know enough about Gloria and Ana’s breakup to say that she wouldn’t want to hurt Ana). I don’t think Toni does want to hurt Clarice, but I also think that she wants better boundaries and wants Clarice to figure out coping strategies other than dumping on her, as someone already said.
November 28th, 2007 at 11:21 pm
“I don’t actually feel like Clarice and Sparrow are such a stretch”
Maybe not, but the idea sort of squicks me because I feel like the strip would get too incestuous with a permutation like Clarice and Sparrow or (god forbid) Clarice reunited with Mo. (I mean, what is this–For Better or For Worse, where everyone has to reunite with their childhood sweethearts? Oh, please.) Clarice needs some new blood. I liked Aunt Soozie’s suggestion about the vital optimist.
November 28th, 2007 at 11:25 pm
As a European (admittedly, with limited insight into the deeper workings of American politics and economy) I find that Dennis Kucinich is the candidate closest to my heart.
I do feel slightly unsettled at seeing Stuart rooting for him though; not only because I don’t consider myself anywhere near as extreme (for lack of a better word) as our Stu, but also ’cause, y’know, there aren’t, comparatively, that many locavorous stay-at-home dads in utilikilts around - so if they are the ones most likely to vote Kucinich, he doesn’t stand a chance.